Opposites Attract
by JCB
Summary: Chapter 12 up at last! AU story where Lee and Kara are together but life is not the expected happy bed of roses! Now spoilers until the end of Season 2
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; I'm only borrowing them for a while.**

**This story is set post Home (part 2) but is AU and is built on a scenario where Lee didn't just walk away after telling Kara that he loved her. However, everything is not going according to the "happy ever after" plan! Spoilers up to and including Resurrection Ship. Hope you enjoy.**

**Opposites Attract**

**Chapter 1 **

Lee could hear the sounds of merriment coming from the rec room before he even got there. Her distinctive laugh echoed down the corridor, mixed with the deeper laughs of her male companions. He stood silently in the hatch way and watched, a feeling of anger rising in his chest.

Kara was perched on Helo's lap, one hand clasping his neck as the other tried to grab the cigar he was holding just out of her reach.

"Give it to me you bastard!"

"Why should I? It's mine."

"Give it to me!" She stretched up a bit further but Helo just laughed even more and moved her quarry further out of her reach.

"No, you know that you can't have it."

"I won't smoke it; I just want a sniff. Please, Helo, pretty please; just a little sniff for your bestest, bestest friend who doesn't mind in the slightest that you're frakking a toaster."

A disgruntled "tsk" from the hatch way made them both turn in unison. Helo was slightly embarrassed to be found with Kara sitting on his lap by the CAG, but he couldn't exactly tip her on to the floor to stand and salute. He went for the polite question instead.

"Is there something we can do for you Captain?"

"Not you Helo, I know you're off duty, but I was under the impression that Lieutenant Thrace was on shift and was supposed to be completing the evaluations on the new recruits." He glared at Kara.

"Don't sweat it Apollo. The reports will be on your desk by the end of the shift," she replied nonchalantly, her gaze never leaving his.

He stared back at her for a few moments then turned sharply and strode away.

"What's up with the CAG?" asked Hotdog when he was out of hearing range.

"Oh, just ignore Captain Grumpy, I'll deal with him later," she replied lightly, but the laughter had died from her face and her eyes took on a steely glint.

"Can you let me know when you're gonna deal with him?" asked Helo.

"Why?"

"Well your last fight was such a humdinger that I was thinking of making some money by selling tickets for this one, and having a little book on the side on who would throw the first punch," he replied, a shit-eating grin splitting his face. She laughed and cuffed him on the shoulder.

"You should know that I always throw the first punch. I'd better go and get it over with now before you can drum up an audience." She climbed off his lap, picked up her pile of paperwork and strolled out of the rec room in the direction Lee had taken.

−

When she reached his office, Lee was slamming reports onto the ever increasing pile on his desk with unnecessary violence. She shut the hatch and then went over and dumped her reports on top of the others.

"There are your frakking reports, Lee. I'd already finished them." He glanced at them, squinting at her scrawled writing.

"I don't call that finished. I have to be able to read them, lieutenant." She stood back and glared at him, hands on hips and eyes flashing with anger.

"What is your problem, Lee?"

"I'm not the one with the problem, lieutenant."

"Will you just cut the rank crap? It's just you and me in a locked room. I'm your wife, Lee; I don't expect to be addressed like I'm some naughty school child."

"When we're both on duty, I have to treat you as our working relationship demands and that means that you need to do the same. I can't have you undermining my authority just because we have a personal relationship, Kara." She looked at him incredulously.

"Gods Lee, if you shoved that stick any further up your ass you'd be coughing splinters. Have you any idea how pompous you sound?"

"Its not pomposity; it's just a fact of life. You have to treat me like the CAG when we're working and that means you call me sir or Captain or Apollo and you treat me with respect."

"When have I shown any disrespect?"

"Huh? Where should I start? What about yesterday on the flight deck?"

"You were being a jerk, Lee and it was a joke; you know, one of those funny moments we used to share together before we started frakking."

"Before we were frakking…..is that all this is to you? I'm just a good frak?"

"Who said you were any good?"

"You….you…you're unbelievable! Why don't you just completely crush my manhood while you're at it." She took a deep breath and let out a loud sigh.

"Look Lee, I'm frustrated and I'm miserable and I don't know what to do about it except lash out at you. Forget I said that, of course you're a good frak, the best." She ran her hand up and down his arm and took another deep, steadying breath then looked at him seriously. "It's not working is it?"

"What's not working?"

"This!" She waived her hand between them in frustration. "You, me, marriage. It's not working, Lee."

He was thrown by her sudden change to this very touchy subject.

"What makes you say that? I think we're doing OK."

"Gods you're dense. We don't have fun with each other anymore Lee. We don't even talk, we just fight. That's all our marriage is about: it's just frakking and fighting."

"Well I'm sorry that I can't be as much fun as your friend Helo, but I have responsibilities that I can't just drop every time you fancy a bit of down time. Things are in a bit of a mess around the fleet in case you haven't noticed," he responded, grumpily.

"See that's just what I'm talking about. You're so busy, yet every time I spend time with my friends who happen to be other men you turn into this jealous freak."

"I'm not jealous!"

"Like hell you aren't! What about just now? You could've easily come into the rec room, made some light remark to let me know that you wanted those reports and that you didn't like to see me sitting on Helo's lap but no, you have to go all huffy and piss on everyone's parade."

"Well excuse me if I don't like the sight of my wife fawning over some other man," he shouted at her.

"I wasn't fawning and you've got a screw loose if you're jealous of Helo: he's in love with a toaster for frak sake."

"I don't care who he's in love with. You're my wife now Kara, you can't just carry on like you did before." The volume of their voices had been rising steadily to the point where they were now both shouting whilst standing toe to toe. If Helo had gathered an audience outside then they were getting value for their money.

"Yes, I'm your wife and don't I know it. I'm constantly trying to come up to your expectations of what the woman who holds that hallowed position should be like. You've put some fictitious version of me on a hopelessly high pedestal that no real woman could ever hope to reach. Well I can't take it anymore Lee. I've tried as hard as I can, but I told you not to try and change me, to change who I was, when you asked me to marry you. You said that you wanted me just the way I was, but that's not been good enough for you, has it Lee?"

"Don't be silly Kara, of course you're good enough, but marriage is about compromise. I'm not trying to change you, I'm not asking that you undergo some radical personality makeover, I'm just asking that you consider my feelings as well as your own."

"And what exactly have you compromised on to fit in with my feelings, Lee?"

"I compromise all the time. I put up with this kind of shit when I've got a hundred other things that I should be doing. If you think you've been so great at it, then tell me exactly what you've done." he yelled.

"I'm having this frakking baby for you aren't I!" she screamed back at him.

"Wait, did you just call our child 'this frakking baby'. That's callous even for you.I thoughtyou wanted the baby."

"No, no, yes, I don't know. I probably will later on, but right now all it is to me is no vipers and almost constant nausea. You knew that I didn't want to do this now. I needed time to get used to being a wife and to come to terms with some things in my past before we started a family, but you still pressured me into it."

"I never pushed you to get pregnant."

"No, you just gave me that look of resignation when I said that I didn't want to have a baby, and then you'd get this look of dejection on your face every month when I got my period. For a man who keeps most of his emotions hidden you can give pretty clear signals when you want to. So I just gave in and let myself get pregnant. I thought that if I gave you the child you so obviously wanted it might help things." He looked at her incredulously.

"I can't believe that you thought you could use a baby as a pawn in our marriage. How could you think that it would help if you really didn't want it? Why didn't you talk to me and tell me how you felt?"

"Because you don't listen to me, Lee. You just hear what you want to hear and see the worst in everything I do. Well I'm sick of it. You say that I don't respect you; well you can't expect your wife to show you respect if you don't show her any in return!"

"Of course I respect you! Oh this is so frakked up it's not funny. The Gods help this child if it's inherited your personality traits" he spat at her, his confusion at where this arguement was going making him lash out at her with vicious words. He should have known that she would give as good as she got.

"That works both ways, moron: it's in serious trouble if it's got yours instead. Although with that jealous streak I'm surprised that you're not accusing me of getting pregnant by some other man, and may be I should have! Then at least the poor thing wouldn't turn out to be an anally-retentive, emotionally-stunted freak!" She yelled right in his face.

"That's low, even for you Kara."

"Yeah, well you're the one who's made me sink this far down."

He turned abruptly to leave.

"Where are you going? We're not done here."

"Yes we are, because if I don't leave now this is gonna turn violent and I won't let you lower my self-respect to the point where I'm prepared to hit a pregnant woman!" She picked up the nearest object, which just happened to be the weighty tome of the military code of conduct, and hurled it at him. It caught him on the shoulder as he stepped through the hatch and clattered to the floor, startling the people in the corridor outside.

"Well just don't expect me to be here when you come back!"

−


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As soon as Lee disappeared, Kara took her anger out on his chair, kicking it over viciously. She then swept the neat pile of his precious reports on to the floor where they scattered into a satisfying mess. Looking around the office for her next victim she realised that people were staring at her through the still open hatch.

"What? What? Haven't you ever seen a married couple fighting before? Frak off the lot of you!" she screamed at them and everyone scampered away. Her anger at Lee was only growing, not abating and she knew that she needed to get away from this room. Without thinking too hard about what she was doing, she grabbed a flight suit from the locker. A couple of minutes later she stormed on to the flight deck like a whirlwind.

"Specialist, get that viper ready for me." The specialist in question just stared at her like a rabbit caught in the headlights. "Move!" she yelled and he jumped to it.

"Sir, what are doing?"

"Don't try to stop me chief."

"With all due respect sir, I have to. Your flight status for vipers has been revoked, not to mention that the commander would have my ass if I didn't."

"Feel free to tell him you tried." With that she swung a right hook and decked the chief with one blow before sprinting up the ladder into the cockpit. Before anyone could react she had manoeuvred the viper into the tube and launched.

As the viper shot out of Galactica, Kara gave the engines full throttle and powered away from the fleet. After the first few minutes of exhilarating flying, the red mist that had descended over her during her fight with Lee started to clear from her mind, and the kind of calm that she only got from flying returned. She knew that she shouldn't be in this viper, but this was what she needed right now; she had missed it so much in the three weeks since she had discovered that she was pregnant. She had a momentary twinge of guilt, knowing that she could be endangering the baby, but the well-being of the mother was pretty important too wasn't it? Come to think of it, this little jaunt was probably quite important for the well-being of the father as well because if she'd stayed on Galactica she probably would have killed him!

With the first need for the freedom of flying assuaged, she switched off the radio so that she couldn't be disturbed and let her mind wonder to the problem at hand. She thought back to how they had ended up married. It was all Lee's fault she decided. It had started on the Astral Queen when she had returned, bruised and broken, from Caprica. He had found her playing with her pyramid ball, feeling sorry for herself, and had tried to do his best agony aunt impression. Thinking back to his words to her then still made her smile.

"I'm your friend, I love you," he had said. She was just digesting these words and figuring out a way to tease him about them, when he had come round and sat next to her on the bench. He had taken her hand in his, stroking his thumb across her palm. The instant comfort she had felt from that simple gesture had given her pause.

"Come on Kara, talk to me."

"Did you just say that you love me?"

"Course I love you; you're the best friend I have left in the whole damned universe. Actually, after what I've done in the past weeks you're probably the only friend I have left. You're hurting and I can't bare that."

He had looked at her with such a mixture of sadness, remorse and love in his beautiful blue eyes that the whole sorry story had come pouring out, from moaning his name with Baltar, to her treatment by the Cylons and her promise to Sam. When she had managed to stop sobbing she realised that telling him had given her a cathartic sense of relief. It felt immeasurably better to have shared these painful experiences with someone, instead of bottling them up as she would normally have done. It was especially true when that someone was Lee: she couldn't really imagine herself opening up to anyone else in the same way. Each comforting stroke of his hand up and down her back had given her back a little bit more peace.

"Oh Gods Kara, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. What can I do? How can I make it better?" he had asked.

"Hold me Lee, just hold me."

He had kissed her then and the Gods help her she had kissed him back with everything that she had. She had let him take control for once and he had lead her to his quarters. Without saying a word he had stripped off her dirty clothes and scrubbed every inch of her under the shower, almost instinctively knowing that she needed to wash away every last speck of Caprican dirt to start the healing process. The wounds on her abdomen were still raw and his hand trembled as he cleaned them. After he had towelled her dry he had lead her to his rack. They had lain together for sometime, just holding each other. The holding had turned to touching and kissing and then he had made love to her with such gentle tenderness that she couldn't stop crying for ten minutes after it was over, until he joked lightly that he'd never had quite such a negative effect on a woman before. The barriers that she had put up around her heart to protect herself from feeling too much for Lee Adama had come crashing down: She knew that she was in serious trouble from that moment on.

When they had gone down to Kobol she had kept as close to him as possible. The way he made her feel made her realise how superficial, though intense, her feelings for Sam Anders had been. Sam had been what she needed to relieve the tension of being on Caprica, but Lee was what she needed to rebuild her life after her experiences at the hands of the Cylons. He made her feel safe which was ironic really because their relationship had always been anything but 'safe': A relationship with Sam was safe, with Lee she knew that she was playing with fire. They had skirted around a deeper relationship than just friends for so long and for so many reasons, many of them relating to Zak, but also because their personalities were so different that she was scared that one or other of them, more probably both, was bound to get hurt. But she didn't have the strength, the willpower or indeed the desire to fight it or run from it any longer. She was just going to let herself feel and love and be loved in the way she'd always dreamt about, and frak the consequences.

After they had been reconciled with his father and returned to the fleet they let their feelings have free reign. They were totally caught up in the romance of finally getting past the past and giving in to their feelings for each other. Lee for once let go of his inhibitions and showed her what a wonderful, passionate man he could be and likewise she didn't pull away from their burgeoning relationship as it intensified. There was no question that they were completely in love with each other; nobody on Galactica could doubt it and they didn't really care about it being public knowledge. She was so drunk with happiness at finally being with him that when he proposed three weeks later, saying that there wasn't any point in waiting in their uncertain existence, she had said yes. The old man, still in the throes of his need to keep his family together after his near-death experience, had agreed and within a week they were married. Now here she was nine months later, married, pregnant and wondering where it had all gone wrong.

It wasn't that their marriage was all bad; there had been times when she had been so happy that she had to pinch herself to believe that it was true, but those times were getting rarer. The first year of marriage was supposed to be the hardest, but was it supposed to be this difficult? It was much harder than she thought it would be. It didn't help that, working as closely together as they did, they had to conduct their relationship in front of everybody, without the luxury of ever really being alone together outside of their bedroom. There was always someone demanding the CAG's attention or needing Starbuck to sort this or that out. It was like living in a goldfish bowl, a rusty metal goldfish bowl. In the seething maelstrom of bravado, fear and exhaustion that seemed to be the permanent state of existence for Galactica's air group, the differences in their personalities were starting to hold sway over their feelings for each other. What they needed was some quiet time to be able to talk to each other calmly and rationally about what was happening to their relationship, but it wasn't like they could just take a second honeymoon; they hadn't really even had a first one! Yet as Kara sat in her borrowed viper and thought about all that had gone wrong, her anger drained away because she also knew that there was a lot that was right. She felt deep within her that they were meant to be together and that didn't scare her any more the way that it used to. She wasn't about to give up on their relationship just because things were a bit rocky: she'd never given up on anything in her life because it was too hard. She resolved to fight as hard as she could to keep their marriage alive and to make it flourish, because at the end of the day she knew that it was worth it, that Lee was worth it. She just needed to be able to get him to acknowledge that there was a problem and not to ignore the emotional turmoil between them like he normally would, but to address it before it festered into something more damaging and destructive. She wondered if they could ever actually do that without resorting to arguing: maybe she should get the old man to referee. She smiled at the thought, but then the smile faded. He was going to be very disappointed in her for this little lapse in discipline and she hated that. Why did she always seem to do things that disappointed these Adama men? Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought but she quelled them ruthlessly. Frakking hormones! Adama was probably going to be so pissed off with her for this little viper trip that he would send her straight to the brig when she got back. Still, at least it was quiet there: may be they could work it out if she and Lee talked to each other with the bars in between them for protection!

Having resolved all this with herself she decided to forget about these problems for a few moments and just enjoy being in a viper for a little while longer: she expected it to be a long time before she got to fly one again.

−

**Author's note**: many thanks for the reviews. Sorry this was a bit of a short chapter with lots of scene setting: more coming soon. Apologies also to the Kara-Sam fans out there: just doesn't do it for me as anything other than a quick fling I'm afraid!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Lee pounded the punch bag to within an inch of its life. He was supposed to be on duty, not in the gym, but if he didn't get the aggression out of his system before he went back to work who knew what might happen. He'd never met anyone who frustrated him and delighted him as much at the same time as Kara. He loved her, he really did; loved her like he'd never loved any woman before, but she also had an ability to push his buttons like no one else. Their relationship seemed to consist of huge peaks and deep troughs: it was either really good or really bad. For a man who liked his life to be on an even keel it was very hard to adapt to. And now she had said that she didn't want their baby. What was he going to do about that? He blew out his cheeks and threw a few more punches, feeling emotionally out of his depth and not knowing who to turn to for help. Normally it would have been his friend Kara, but that wasn't a possibility this time.

"_Captain Adama to CIC, pass the word for Captain Adama._"

Lee wiped the sweat from his face and shrugged on his jacket before jogging to CIC. As he entered he immediately picked up on the tense atmosphere. His father regarded him with his patented piercing stare that was guaranteed to reduce lesser men to a pile of quivering jelly.

"Captain, would you mind telling me why a pilot whose flight status has been revoked has made an unscheduled launch in a viper."

"I…er…um…who?" asked Lee with a sense of foreboding.

"Who do you think?" chimed in Colonel Tigh.

"She wouldn't….frak…she wouldn't!" Lee grabbed the console tightly, knuckles white. He didn't know whether the sudden pain in his chest was from anger or fear for his wife and child. "Didn't anyone try to stop her?"

"The chief is nursing a fractured cheek bone."

"Oh Gods."

"She won't answer the radio hails. You need to get her to come in," his father ordered.

"I'm the last person she's gonna listen to right now, sir. If she won't answer you then she won't answer anyone." If anything his father's expression became even sterner.

"Captain, my quarters now! Colonel you have the ship."

Lee followed his father as he strode out of CIC and down Galactica's corridors. When they reached his quarters his father spoke in that quiet, controlled manner that told Lee that they were in serious trouble.

"When I let you and Kara marry each other you promised me that it wouldn't affect your jobs. I've let the fact that one of my most experienced pilots is out of the air go because, as Laura Roslin is constantly reminding me, we need to have as many babies as possible if humanity is to survive, but I can't let this go, Lee. She has injured a crew member and stolen a piece of military equipment, not to mention that she's uselessly wasting some of our precious fuel reserves and putting the life of my grandchild at risk."

"I know, sir, I know. We…we had a fight and I guess I kind of stormed out before we'd finished."

"That explains why she's out there but it doesn't make it any better. You were both on duty which means that you let your personal lives disrupt your jobs."

"Does it make it any better if I tell you that the argument started about training evaluations?" asked Lee, hopefully. His father sighed.

"No it doesn't. How do you get from something so trivial to the point where Kara's gone AWOL?"

"I don't know, dad, I just don't know any more." Lee put his head in his hands while his father regarded him silently. "It seems that whatever we discuss causes an argument at the moment, be it training evals or the baby." He looked up at his father. Could he do this? Could he really talk to this man about something so personal? He'd never thought of his father as a confidant before, but suddenly it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He couldn't quite grasp how they had come to this point, but he was very glad that they had.

"Can I talk to you, dad? Not as Commander Adama, but as Lee Adama's dad? I really need someone to talk to." To Adama, the unconscious pleading look in his eyes as he stared up at his father made him look just as he did when he was a boy.

"Of course you can, son," his father replied gruffly.

"Kara….Kara thinks our marriage isn't working."

"I admit that I was afraid of this. The pair of you are so different, but I thought that your friendship would help you work it out but it obviously hasn't. I don't know what to tell you, son, but recognising there is a problem is half way to fixing it."

"She said that she doesn't want the baby. You don't think that's why she's gone out in a viper do you? You know, to try and get rid of it?"

"No, if there was any other thought apart from blowing off some steam by flying I'd be surprised. Besides, I expect this baby's going to be born already able to fly a viper! I presume that she only said that in the heat of the argument?" Lee nodded. "I don't condone her actions, but look at it from her point of view, son. This is an enormous thing for her that's affecting her whole life. You should take it as a sign of how much she feels for you that she's prepared to do it. She's grounded from vipers, she's got the Lords only know what hormones surging though her body, making her feel like she's never felt before, and you're giving her grief about training evals. No wonder she lashed out!" Lee smiled slightly in relief, acknowledging that his father was probably right.

"Look, I'll tell you what I think: you can take it or leave it." His father went on. "You know each other well, but I'm not sure that you really understand one another. You're driven by logic, order and control. Your role as CAG and your private life are kept separate, compartmentalised in you mind. Kara doesn't work like that; she only thinks with her heart. The things she loves; you, flying, they're all wrapped up together. She doesn't separate them. So when you, as her CAG, reprimand her for something she's done as Lieutenant Thrace she equates that with Lee being disappointed with Kara. Starbuck may be supremely confident as a pilot and a soldier, but Kara's confidence as a woman is incredibly fragile. She's been raised at the school of hard knocks and that has made her resilient but prone to self-doubt and guilt. I've watched her as perhaps you can't. Your opinion means everything to her; you can dash her with just a couple of careless words but when you say something good to her, her smile could light up the whole of Galactica."

"But we really love each other, dad; that should be enough to make a good marriage, shouldn't it?"

"Gods, you're your mother's son!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"She said the same thing to me when I tried to tell her how hard our life together was going to be, that my job would often take me away. She just smiled at me and said that it wouldn't be a problem because we loved each other and that was all that mattered, but it wasn't enough for her and it isn't enough for you. You're an idealist, just like she was. You have this perfect vision of how something should be and when it doesn't come up to that vision you think it's a failure. A good marriage doesn't come ready gift-wrapped when you exchange your vows, Lee; you have to work at it and develop it and that takes time and patience, something the pair of you have undoubtedly been very short of. "

"I realise that, but I don't know what else to do, dad. I've tried talking to her but we just end up fighting."

"I'm sure you've tried talking to her but have you tried just listening to her?" he asked. Lee flushed as his father unconsciously echoed Kara's accusation to him. "Look, I'm going to have to speak to her about this incident when she gets back, but then I'm giving the pair of you forty-eight hours to get off Galactica, get some down time together and sort this thing out and I'd like you to come back together and with no obvious injuries!"

"Won't that be seen as a bit nepotistic by the crew?"

"What would you do if two of your pilots were having relationship difficulties?" Lee thought about it and then nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. I'd do the same thing." He laughed ruefully. "Well this has certainly been a surprisingly enlightening discussion!"

"What, you don't think that I'm qualified to give you marital advice?"

"You have to admit that it's a tad ironic, sir." His father smiled.

"You of all people should know that I have a pretty comprehensive knowledge of how to get it wrong with your wife."

"_Action stations, action stations, set condition one throughout the fleet_." Tigh's voice interrupted them as it rang around the ship. The pair of them looked at each other for a moment before sprinting back to CIC.

"Sitrep," asked Adama tersely as soon as they arrived.

"A dozen Cylon raiders sir. ETA three minutes. The fleet has started jumping to the emergency co-ordinates." Gaeta was all efficiency.

"Where's the CAP?" asked Lee.

"They were on the other side of the fleet. They should be there in two minutes, as should the alert fighters." Gaeta glanced at Tigh. Lee caught the look.

"What aren't you telling me?" he demanded.

"Starbuck was closest sir, she's almost on them. We couldn't stop her."

"By herself? Oh Gods, not again!" As if on cue Kara's voice echoed around CIC.

"_Galactica, Starbuck, engaging Cylon raiders. Tell the CAP to hurry the frak up._"

"Dee, get her on the radio for me," ordered Adama. He took the headset from Dee.

"Starbuck, get your ass back here."

"_Too late for that, sir. I'd only get it shot off."_

"Well at least pull back to join up with the CAP."

"_They're almost here, and….yes, got another one…I'm having too much fun sir!"_

Lee swore profusely under his breath. He knew that she was in her element, that she was the best of the best in this situation, but that didn't make it any easier. He could only watch on dradis as raiders continued to disappear. His tension eased a little as the other vipers caught up with Starbuck's solitary fighter.

"All the fleet is away sir, except for the Astral Queen. They're reporting a problem with their FTL drive," reported Dee. An alarm started bleeping.

"New dradis contact. It's a Cylon basestar, sir and it's launching more raiders." Gaeta confirmed.

The new set of raiders was heading for the Astral Queen and Galactica.

"Bring us around twenty degrees to port. Prepare the starboard batteries," ordered Adama.

"_Galactica, Starbuck, we've lost two vipers. Heading to protect the Astral Queen. All vipers, on my mark break right….break, break, break."_

The sounds of the pilots echoed around CIC. The crew prepared for the potential onslaught of the basestar and its raiders with well-practiced efficiency. Lee went through the motions of the CAG's role, making sure that the deck was going to be ready for combat landings, but all the time following the progress of Kara's viper on the screens.

"_Come on people, stick with it. You don't get any awards for neatness out here. Just shoot the frakkers any way you can…..Frak….."_ Lee tensed as her line started to crackle and break up. _"Lost my starbo…..gine…...can't...control…..shit…..tell Apollo…_." Her wireless cut out completely.

"Kara," he whispered in anguish. His only hope was that her viper still appeared on dradis.

"Astral Queen is ready to jump, sir."

"Good! Get them back."

"_Galactica, this is Kat. Starbuck says she's OK but her viper can't make it back to base. She's gonna hitch a lift on the Astral Queen_."

Lee expelled the breath that he hadn't realise he was holding and briefly slumped over the console in relief. He felt his father's hand momentarily squeeze his shoulder before he moved off.

"Roger that Kat, bring everybody else home."

The final vipers came aboard as the dradis blip of the Astral Queen snapped out. The commander gave the signal and Galactica jumped to join the rest of the fleet just as the basestar bore down on them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As Galactica came out of the jump, Lee started to think about what he was going to say to Kara when she got back. His feelings about their argument and what she had done afterwards were so mixed up that he didn't know what he was going to do when he first saw her: half of him wanted to belt her then throw her in hack and half of him wanted to hug her to him and never let her go. His thoughts were interrupted by his father asking Dee for the post-jump report on the fleet.

"All ships accounted for except one, sir."

"Which one?"

"The Astral Queen, sir. They don't appear to have made it to these co-ordinates yet."

"What?" demanded Lee, a sudden feeling of panic gripping him.

"But they definitely jumped?" asked his father.

"Yes, sir. I made sure of it before we made our jump."

"Then there must be some mistake. Find them petty officer!" Lee had moved over to Dee's station and lunged right up into her face as he shouted the order at her. She stepped back in surprise at his aggression.

"Captain, I believe that you have a pilot de-briefing to conduct." His father's calm voice came from behind him. Lee took a couple of deep, painful breaths then turned to salute the commander.

"Yes sir." He turned sharply and started to leave CIC. Adama relented slightly.

"We'll send you news as soon as we have any," he said quietly to his son.

−

"Waaaaahoooo!" Kara pulled off her helmet as she celebrated a job well done: there was no feeling quite like the exhilaration of combat.

She jumped down from the viper and was just about to carry on celebrating when she had to grab the wing as a wave of dizziness and nausea rolled over her. She knelt down as her legs gave way and promptly lost the contents of her stomach.

"Ah, man, that sucks," she said as she was at last able to stand up straight again without everything spinning. She rested her hand briefly on her abdomen. "OK kid, I get the message. Just getting your revenge on poor old mama for making you fly upside down in a viper."

She looked at the solitary deckhand who was regarding her like she had two heads.

"Sorry about that. Don't worry; I'll be out of your hair as soon as Galactica sends the tow truck." She turned back to her viper to examine the charred mess of its rear engine mounting. Lee was going to be even more pissed off with her when he found out that it was his mark VII viper that she had 'borrowed' and got all shot up. Oh well, she thought, just another charge to add to the many that he was going to level at her.

"Um, I don't think the tow truck's coming, ma'am. I've been asked to send you to see Mr Zarek," the deckhand said fearfully, keeping a good eye on Kara's right hand: the stories of Starbuck were legion in the fleet.

"Huh? Since when have officers of the colonial fleet been at Tom Zarek's beck and call?"

"I don't know nothin' ma'am. That's just what they told me."

She huffed and left the deck in the direction she remembered Zarek's command quarters were located. When she got there everything seemed to be in chaos. The man in question was at the centre, firing off orders left and right. She barged through and got right in his face.

"Zarek! What do you want? I need to get back to Galactica."

"Lieutenant Thrace, a pleasure as always. Thanks for your help with those raiders just now." She scowled but took his outstretched hand. A number of the motley looking crew around him murmured in agreement and started to clap. Touched, but embarrassed, she acknowledged them with a raised hand and a nod. Zarek went on. "We'd all like to get back with Galactica and the fleet but unfortunately neither of them seems to be here."

"What do you mean they're not here?"

"We are the only ship at this location."

"Well whoever you have on navigation obviously made some sort of major frak up with the FTL co-ordinates. Just jump us to the right ones."

"We have the correct co-ordinates unfortunately, lieutenant: I've had them triple checked. It appears to be a continued problem with our FTL drive. Our engineers are working on it as we speak."

"Well they'd better frakking well sort it out asap."

"Of course. In the meantime I can offer you the hospitality of the Astral Queen." He ignored her smirk and ironically raised eyebrow. "I believe that the quarters captain Adama used during his last stay are still empty. Do you need someone to show you the way?" She gave him a look at this blandly polite question: he was well aware that she knew exactly where those quarters were.

"No, I know the way. Fine…well…thanks," she said, grudgingly. "Let me know as soon as the FTL's fixed."

A few minutes later she stomped into the quarters and immediately flung off her flight suit. She stepped into the shower and let out a sigh of pleasure: hot water just as she remembered it. Trust Zarek; no tepid showers for him or his men like the crew of Galactica had to endure.

Once she was dry and dressed again she lay down on the rack and allowed herself to contemplate the latest situation that she found herself in. Could her life get any more frakked up? She'd had a major bust up with Lee, but now, when she was all ready to make it up with him, she was stuck in about the worst place that she could be in the whole fleet. This was the room in which they'd first made love and taken those first tentative steps towards their current relationship. Given that she'd only recently been sitting in her viper thinking of that very time, the memories were acute. If she really kidded herself she fancied that she could still detect his scent on the pillow. She grabbed it to her and inhaled deeply; she might have to resort to her imagination for sometime, because if they couldn't fix the FTL drive then she had no idea when she was going to see him again.

−

Three days; it had been three days since they'd lost the Astral Queen. Three days in which Lee hadn't eaten and hardly slept.

They had sent out endless raptor patrols to search the system but still no sign of the missing ship. And now one of the raptors had met with a patrol of Cylon raiders. The fleet was preparing to move on again, which decreased the odds of the Queen finding them even further. He sat in a meeting with his father, Tigh and Gaeta and also the president, Baltar and Billy while they discussed the futility of continuing the search as if they were just calling of the search for a lost dog. He just zoned out, knowing that if he spoke at all it would only be in anger and pain and disillusionment. Every now and then one of them sent him a sympathetic glance, but it was as if they were half glad that he wasn't participating. This wasn't like the last time Kara had been lost: at least then they had some clues where to search. Even his father seemed to be accepting that there was nothing more to be done. He couldn't believe that they were giving up so easily, although he had a horrible feeling that it might have something to do with the president's barely-concealed relief at the possibility of being rid of Tom Zarek.

The meeting started to break up; he hadn't even realised that they had finished. His father grasped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Come on, son. We need to talk." He got up and shuffled after his father and followed him to his quarters. He slumped down on to the couch and rubbed his hands over his stubbled, drawn face, trying to alleviate the tired, gritty feeling in his eyes. His father handed him a glass of water.

"You we very quiet in the meeting, Lee." Adama chose as his opening gambit.

"Yeah. So?"

"Did you listen to the discussion at all?"

"I heard all I needed to. Bottom line: we're abandoning them."

"Think things through logically, son and tell me if there are any other options."

"What, other than never give up hope and never leave?"

"I need feasible realities, Captain, not wishful thinking."

"Oh yes, 'cos the Gods forbid William Adama would ever do something irrational to save someone he loved," Lee snapped.

"That's not fair son and you know it."

"Sorry, dad….it's just…just….sorry." He let out an enormous sigh and covered his eyes with his hands for a few moments. Then he squared his shoulders and looked directly at his father.

"OK, so we know the easy option isn't gonna work. If they'd just got the co-ordinates wrong they would have been here ages ago and we know that they did have the right co-ordinates because Gaeta has checked the transmission logs. So, right now that means that at least they know where we are, which is a plus. They obviously can't get here so that leaves two possibilities. Something went majorly wrong with their FTL or ship during the jump and they were destroyed, flew into a star, etc; ergo, they're gone. Or, if we take the more optimistic view, there was some ship malfunction or other catastrophe that is preventing them from jumping here for the time being. We have no way of finding them, but they have a starter in that they know this location. That plus point only lasts until we move." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "So to have any hope of them following us we need to find some way of leaving a message behind for them that doesn't give our new position away to the Cylons should they intercept it."

"Good. Exactly. You're thinking like an officer again. Now all you have to do is figure me out a way to do just that which doesn't involve a lot of resources or manpower; so no, you cannot stay behind here forever and a day in a raptor hoping against hope that Kara will somehow appear." Lee smiled sadly, knowing that this was exactly what he wanted to do. "We're not moving for another twelve hours, so let me know what you come up with before then and if I think it'll work, I'll swing it with the president." Lee nodded and stood up.

"Thanks, dad." His father didn't say anything: his expression said it all. They took comfort in a brief, fierce hug before Lee left with a salute.

−

Kara paced the command of the Astral Queen as the ship's chief engineer explained the problem with the FTL.

"I think it's only taking us a few degrees off but basically we can't trust it: there's a disconnect between the co-ordinates entered into the computer and where we end up. It's a frakking miracle that we didn't end up in the middle of a planet."

"So we could be very close to the fleet?" asked Zarek.

"Yup, or not! Who knows! We don't have any charts for this region of space on board so we have no way of making even an educated guess on our location. We've made enough jumps in this system over the past week to find the fleet if they're here, but no sign of them. We can't go on doing that forever: we're down to only enough fuel reserves for two more jumps."

"OK so that's the problem. Why can't you just fix it?" asked Kara.

"Well it's a complicated repair, but I could do it if I had the parts."

"Right, so just poach the parts from another FTL drive and fix it already!" she spat out, barely hanging on to her temper.

"The only other ship we have on board is a shuttle without FTL capabilities."

"OK, so we need to find somewhere to get fuel and parts even though we have no frakking clue where we are. Great!" Kara sat back in frustration and let Zarek and his cronies fire questions and ideas at the engineer. She let her mind wander and tried to think what the commander would do in this situation. Suddenly an idea started to form in her brain. It might not be what the commander would do but it was damn well the type of insane plan that Kara Thrace would pull off! If it worked it might not only solve their current predicament, but also keep a promise that had been nagging away at her for the best part of a year.

"What about going back to Caprica?" she said suddenly, claiming everyone's attention immediately.

"Caprica! Are you mad? It's a nuclear wasteland over run with Cylons."

"Yes, but there's also a resistance movement of survivors fighting against the Cylons. Look, if we try to jump to Caprica at least it's a part of space we're familiar with. We can pick a spot where we're less likely to hit anything if we get it wrong: all we need to do is get close enough. We know where we can get fuel and parts: the colonial fleet base at Delphi, and at the same time we might be able to do something good for humanity and rescue people."

"With no control over the FTL we could also jump into the middle of the planet or the Cylon fleet," raised the engineer.

"There's going to be risk involved in whatever we do. If anyone's got any other risk-free suggestions then let's hear them."

Zarek looked at her for several moments then looked around at his lieutenants. Some looked distrustful or even fearful, but the majority were nodding, albeit reluctantly.

"Caprica it is then."

−

**Author's note**: Ha! Just when you thought Kara was going to get home safe and sound! Hope you liked this new development.

**IMPORTANT**: I'm now contemplating something of an experiment. I have two different versions of this story from this point onwards, at different places on the angst-o-meter. Rather than pick one over the other I thought I might do both simultaneously. I can't decide whether it would be better to put them up as alternative chapters in the same stroy or whether that would be too confusing and it would be better to post a separate copy of the story and update both simultaneously. I would welcome your thoughts on whether you like this idea at all and if so which option you think might work better. Many thanks for your help.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: thanks for all your comments on the different version proposal: the views were unanimous and the alternative version will be posted as a separate story – please look out for that one too.**

**Chapter 5**

Kara was on the Astral Queen's hanger deck doing last minute checks of the shuttle before its departure for the mission to Caprica. The last few days of planning the op had been especially hard work for her as the only "professional" soldier on board, but she had been somewhat surprised and impressed by the enthusiasm and determination shown by Zarek's men. She felt that they had the plan as good as it was going to get. Two teams had been selected: one to conduct the supply raid on the old fleet base and one to hunt for survivors. She had targeted herself to lead that second team. She moved to check all the weaponry that they had collected: it was certainly an impressive pile for a prison ship, but she wasn't going to complain. This was another thing that had impressed her about the set up on the Astral Queen: as soon as Zarek had backed her word that none of them would be held up on charges for possessing illegal weapons, the stuff had started to come out. His word certainly was law around here. It was obvious that the inhabitants of the Astral Queen had been partaking freely in the black market run out of the Prometheus before that operation had been cut down. She knew that you could still get Stogies and fine ambrosia if you had the right contacts, but she was pretty sure rocket launchers weren't freely available any more! She was strapping on various pieces of additional weaponry to her flight suit when Tom Zarek appeared beside her.

"What are you doing lieutenant?"

"What does it look like, Zarek? Getting ready to lead the rescue mission of course."

"I don't think so," he said in a voice that brooked no refusal. She looked up at him, anger in her face and a sharp retort on her lips but he stalled her. "Good news travels fast around the fleet," he said pointedly, glancing down. She flushed, knowing exactly what he was referring to. She hadn't told anyone on the Astral Queen that she was pregnant, but of course Tom Zarek would know: he would know if anyone on Galactica so much as broke wind inappropriately.

"That's no concern of yours. I'm making my own choice," she said quietly.

"But you see it is a concern for me. Besides the obvious moral issue, if…when we get back to the fleet I don't want to have to face your husband knowing that I didn't stop his pregnant wife from going into a nuclear fall out zone and getting an unhealthy dose of radiation. Despite what people might think, I have a very healthy respect for Captain Adama; there is more strength and steel there than people give him credit for. He's also able to hold a grudge better and longer than just about anyone I've ever met and I really don't want to be the brunt of that again. And I don't even want to think about what the commander's reaction might be. So no, lieutenant, you will not be going down onto the surface of Caprica."

As much as she hated to admit it Zarek was right: Lee would never forgive her if she did this, and to be honest she doubted whether she would be able to forgive herself. She had been deliberately ignoring this particular issue in the face of her overwhelming desire to be part of the rescue. But she couldn't escape the fact that, while she might still only be grudgingly accepting her pregnancy, the baby had started to take on a whole new significance to her when it might be all that she had left of its father. However, the simple fact of the matter was that they didn't have enough trained hands for her not to be involved and she wasn't going to give in to Zarek easily: he needed to know that he couldn't expect her just to follow his orders like his bunch of tame ex-cons.

"And just who the frak is going to lead the mission if I don't?"

"Relax lieutenant. This is essentially a smash and grab job and you have a team of guys who've made whole careers out of that type of activity."

"Yeah, well if they're all so good at it how come this lot all got caught?"

"Everyone has an off day. If you're such a good pilot, how come you allowed a Cylon to damage your viper so that you ended up stuck with us?" She had to admit that he had a point.

"OK, OK, but the shuttle's got shielding, right?" Zarek nodded. "I'm still gonna fly the team in."

"But then you'll stay on board?"

"Yeah." He continued to look at her pointedly. "I promise, OK! Cross my heart and hope to die, scout's honour. Do you want me to swear it in blood?" She huffed when he kept on staring at her. "I don't want to loose this baby," she finally admitted. He nodded, seemingly satisfied.

"Let's go and get this show on the road, lieutenant."

−

Kara was taking the team's questions as the formal briefing on the op wound up.

"How will we know who's resistance and who's Cylon."

"Good question. Any pyramid fans here?" she asked. A few voices spoke up. "The resistance is being lead by what remains of the Caprican buccaneers."

"You're kidding me? No shit! I was one of their biggest fans: box seats every season until I got banged up."

"Yeah, well consider this groupie heaven time." She took off her dog tag and gave it to the C-buck fan. "Show this to Sam Anders; if he sees this he'll know you're genuine and that you're with me: he should have one like it." Zarek's eyebrow rose at this revelation but she ignored him. "What's you're name soldier?" He squared his shoulders and attempted to come to attention as she had known he would.

"Smith, sir." She almost laughed. How many times had he automatically given that name when questioned by authority? He smirked, seeming to know what she was thinking. "No, it really is sir, Stan Smith."

"Well Smith, you should call me Starbuck when we're in the field. That goes for the rest of you as well. You've got thirty minutes after we land to get in and out with as many survivors as possible. Remember that if you're not back in forty five minutes, I'm taking off regardless. This shuttle will take twenty in total but we'll cram more in if necessary. Everyone set?"

"Yes, sir," they chorused.

−

Everyone held their breath as the Astral Queen came out of its FTL jump. There was a collective sigh of relief as the space around them proved to be mercifully free of Cylon ships. Despite the grumbles of the engineer about the risk of missing their target point, they were only about an hours flying time away from Caprica. Although this was probably ample time for the Cylons to detect them, it was about the best that they could have hoped for. The supply team were going to land the Astral Queen directly in the Delphi base as this was the easiest and quickest route to the supplies they needed, especially the fuel. It was going to be risky but they did have a few tricks up their sleeve if the Cylons attacked them: the Queen was not unarmed.

Kara gave a last check to the Queen's pilot and took the shuttle out of the hanger deck before the Queen entered Caprica's atmosphere. They were going to land simultaneously, hoping that the bigger ship would distract any Cylon attention away from the shuttle. This ploy was looking successful as she brought the shuttle in for a text book landing in the clearing by the Delphi Union School.

"OK guys, go, go, go!"

"Ay, ay Starbuck."

The outer hatch slammed and she was left alone to twiddle her thumbs for what she hoped would only be half an hour. She looked around out of the window: it was quiet; too quiet for her liking.

The time seemed to pass agonisingly slowly. Gods, she wished that she could have been out there with them! Suddenly the silence was broken by the unmistakeable sound of gunfire. She looked out but couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then she saw flashes of metal: Cylon centurions started to appear out of the trees around the clearing. Now was her chance to do something useful as she geared up the guns that they had rigged to the shuttle and fired them at the approaching Cylons. She saw some of her team emerge into the clearing, closely pursued by centurions. She took out the toasters with a satisfying explosion and then moved to start the engines and lower the hatch.

"Come on, come on." Kara muttered under her breath. She had the engines running and was watching the centurions get ever closer.

"We're all aboard, Starbuck," came a shout from the cabin.

"Well about frakking time."

She didn't need a second invitation and took off immediately, heading directly for their rendezvous point. There was no time to find out if the rescue had been a success: if they didn't get back to the Astral Queen in time it was going to be the shortest rescue in history. She relaxed slightly as the Astral Queen came into view, but that was short lived as she caught site of a basestar launching raiders on a rapid intercept course. She radioed the Queen as soon as she came within range of the hanger deck.

"We're aboard. Get us the frak out of here!"

She felt the familiar lurch of the FTL jump as she touched the shuttle down on the hanger deck. Letting out a sigh of relief she shouted back into the cabin.

"How d'ya do?"

"I'm sorry Starbuck." Smith came in to the cockpit, a sad look on his lugubrious face. He laid two dog tags in her hand. "We found it in the school. There wasn't no one left alive. Looks like the toasters got them good and proper some time ago. Still, it was worth a try."

She gulped back her tears.

"Did everyone get back OK?"

"Yeah. Nobby and Reynolds got a couple of scratches but nothing too serious."

"Thanks, Smith. You all did great. You go on. I'll be out in a bit." When he had gone she allowed herself to cry. It wasn't often that she cried, but the resistance had been good to her in the short time she'd known them and they were a symbol of hope to her in their constant fight against the Cylons and now that hope was gone. But mainly she was crying for Sam Anders who had given her love and fulfilment when she was in dire need of it. She would always remember him with affection. Oh why hadn't she pushed for a rescue earlier? Because you were too caught up with your own happiness, you selfish bitch she admonished herself. Kara Thrace: the universe's most self-centred cow! But what was done was done. If there was one thing she had learnt from Lee it was that going on some mega guilt trip on the back of what might have been wasn't any use to any one. She wiped her eyes, put her dog tags back on and finished her post-flight checks on automatic pilot, immune to the sounds of celebration coming from the hanger deck.

−


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Kara was bored. They were holed up behind the cover of an asteroid field whilst the FTL was being repaired, so there wasn't much for her to do except watch for Cylons and wait for the engineer to finish the tricky repair job. She was missing even the routine of CAP and maintenance shifts. What did the ordinary people of the fleet do all day? No wonder so many of them were going crazy after being cooped up in space for so long. She decided to wander down to the hanger deck to check out her (Lee's) viper. She thought that she could use this spare time to try a few patch up repairs, although she wasn't sure where she'd start with the mess that it was in: definitely a job for Tyrol's superior skills. However, when she got to the deck she found that someone had already started sorting out the charred remains of the starboard engine. Joe the deckhand was working diligently on the back of the plane. He looked so young and innocent that she had to wonder what he could have possibly done to get himself banged up with some of the miscreants that were on the Astral Queen. She called to him and he immediately jumped up like a frightened rabbit when he heard her voice.

"Starbuck…I...I...er... hope you don't mind me trying some repairs."

"Only if you know something about the mechanics of a viper."

"I've never worked on a viper before, but it's just an engine, right? That's what I did in prison: worked in the mechanics shop. Gaffer said I had a natural talent."

"Well if you have a natural talent for mechanics you'd know that this is not just an engine: the viper mark VII is a thing of beauty."

"Yes it is, ma'am. I sure wish I could fly one like you." He gazed at her with what she quickly realised was a severe case of hero worship. She looked at what he had done. Frankly, anything would be an improvement on how she had left the viper after that Cylon attack, but she didn't really trust anyone with her birds other than Tyrol and his crew. Still, needs must: if they could get the viper going then at least it was another defensive option if they ran into any toasters.

"Shall I try it?" she asked.

"Would you?" he replied, his voice conveying his enthusiasm.

She climbed into the cockpit and started the engines. After a few experimental coughs they roared into life. She checked all the settings: everything registered normal, which was definitely not how it had been when she landed.

"Frak me, Joe, you're a genius. Do you want a new job when we get back to the fleet? The deck chief on Galactica would love to have someone with your skills."

"Do you really think so, Starbuck?"

"Of course. Let me know and I'll put in a good word for you with chief Tyrol, but a word of advice: never say to him that it's 'just an engine' OK!"

She spent some time tinkering around with the viper to see how Joe worked. Pleased with what she saw and realising that her viper was in good hands she wandered up to the command area. With only the briefest of knocks she strolled into Tom Zarek's office.

"Zarek, you're deck hand is a frakking genius. He's repaired my viper. That means we have some extra protection if the Cylons show up." She regarded the bowl of fruit on his desk ravenously and picked out an apple. She dug her teeth into it with a blissful sigh.

"Oh man, that's the best thing I've tasted in ages. Thank the Gods you guys are well connected with the black market." Zarek regarded her with an amused smile.

"Don't you have anything better to do, lieutenant?"

"Naa, and I'm bored."

He looked at her for a few moments. He had been impressed with how well she had fitted in with his crew. He had sort of expected her to play the "best of the best" ace pilot prima donna act and look down on his people for their previous crimes, but there had been no such problems. She had treated everyone in the same casual way and didn't pay the least attention to their records. In return they had treated her with respect and he knew that wasn't easy to earn. A few women had moved on board since most of the inmates had worked their passage to become free men, but they were still few and far between. Yet he hadn't had to issue any dictates to tell them that Lt Thrace was off limits. Whether that was from their respect for her or for Captain Adama he wasn't sure: probably a little of both. All the men remembered that the Captain hadn't sold them down the river and had delivered on the deal that he had brokered with Zarek. Starbuck's standard of dress might hardly be feminine but it couldn't disguise the fact that she was a very attractive woman and a lot of these men hadn't seen one of those in a long, long time. He figured that she could probably take care of herself, but he was glad that the need hadn't arisen. He had to admit that his interest in her was sparked by this enforced stay together and he might as well take advantage of this down time to get to know her better.

"Tell me about yourself," he asked.

"Not much to tell really: I'm just a pilot."

"Yeah, and I'm just an ex-con." She grinned at him in that disarming way of hers, flopped down on a chair and plonked her feet on his desk.

"What do you wanna know?"

They talked and argued companionably. He had always assumed that she was just a young woman with an unreasonable talent for flying, causing trouble and little else. He was surprised by her knowledge of the arts and her perceptive observations on political issues. She had always assumed that he was a terrorist out for nothing but his own gains. She soon realised that he did have the good of the people at heart and enjoyed pitting her wits against him. They had started out as "lieutenant" and "Zarek". At the end of an hour they were "Tom" and "Starbuck". She couldn't quite go as far as letting him call her Kara: she told him that you had to have known her for many years before you were granted that privilege, but they had certainly reached a new level of understanding.

This happy little bonding session was only broken up by a call from the command centre that the repairs to the FTL were finished. They strolled into the command together to find the crew preparing to jump to the original co-ordinates that they should have been at over two weeks previously. With the jump preparations completed everyone braced themselves. There was a perceptible tension in the room as everyone wondered whether the FTL would be working correctly and whether the fleet would still be there at the end of the jump.

As soon as the jump was completed everyone focused on the screen that would tell them whether they had made it back to the fleet.

"Nothing, Tom," stated his chief pilot. "The co-ordinates are correct this time but the fleet's not there."

"Damn it!" Zarek swore.

"Scan the area for anything: wreckage, bits of waste, anything that might give us a clue to where they've gone. Get anything you find on board." Kara ordered. The pilot looked to Zarek for confirmation and he nodded in agreement.

−

Kara was pacing the hanger deck waiting for the shuttle to return. She couldn't believe that the fleet would have left without leaving them some sort of clue as to where they had gone: no, scratch that, she couldn't believe that Lee would have left without leaving behind some message for her. Unless he was still mad at her of course, and would be quite happy never to see her again. What if he believed that she was already dead? Or that the Astral Queen had been taken by the Cylons like the Olympic Carrier. She shook her head to try and rid herself of these negative thoughts. She practically dived through the hatch of the shuttle before it had properly docked. They had picked up half a dozen bits of space debris. She scanned the junk quickly then bent to pick up a familiar looking piece of metal. She turned it over and a smile spread across her face: she knew Lee wouldn't let her down. She stood smiling goofily as she clutched a piece of a mark II viper with "Lt Kara Thrace: Starbuck" painted on the side. It was plain as day that this was her husband's message to her.

−

Almost a day later Kara was ready to throw the stupid piece of metal out of the airlock. She had been over every single inch of it. There was no hidden message, no map scratched into the metal, nothing except one tiny mark in the middle of her name, and that could easily have been previous damage. She knew that Lee would have had to be careful in case the debris fell into Cylon hands but did he have to be this subtle?

She decided to leave it for a while and go for a break in the mess hall, hoping that some food and coffee would clear her head. She grabbed something to eat and flopped down on a bench where Smith and some of the other men were eating.

"Still no luck, Starbuck?" asked Smith.

"No!" she replied grumpily. "I didn't think my husband had it in him to be this obscure. Textbook obvious is more his style."

"What? You mean he didn't just leave you a map with an X marking the spot?" they all laughed at this idea.

"No. No he didn't, Stan…but then again." She thought for a few moments. "Frak me!" She jumped up and ran back to her quarters and picked up the piece of viper. She sprinted into command and accosted the man in charge of navigation.

"Briggs, can you make a scan of the outline of this and then run it against the nav files?"

"Sure Starbuck."

She stood bouncing up and down and chewing her thumb for a few anxious minutes.

"Well I'll be…..the shape corresponds exactly with the deltaron nebula."

"Ha! I knew it! Gods, I love you Lee Adama. Briggs, plot a jump as close to where that mark is as you can get."

Zarek had come up to see what all the commotion was.

"Are you sure about this Starbuck?"

"As sure as I can be. And what's there to loose?"

"Alright. Let's do the jump."

−

The jump completed, again they all waited nervously for the report.

"Multiple contacts, Tom……but it's not the fleet……definitely Cylon raiders and a larger ship."

"Frak! A basestar?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well make sure and someone get plotting an emergency jump to get us out of here," ordered Kara.

"The large ship is hailing us, Tom. They're asking for id." Zarek's eyebrow rose in surprise and he exchanged a look with Kara.

"Send them our colonial id codes and put them on speaker."

"Colonial vessel, colonial vessel. This is the battlestar Pegasus. We have authenticated your recognition codes. Confirm your id." There was a collective gasp around the command centre. Only Zarek seemed to keep his cool.

"This is the Astral Queen, Pegasus, and you need to confirm your codes to us."

"Their codes are genuine, Tom."

"We have confirmation, Pegasus."

"We are currently engaged with the enemy, Astral Queen. Emergency jump codes will be transmitted. We will signal you if a jump is required."

"Frak me; the Pegasus. I thought all the fleet was gone." Kara was following the battle with the raiders on the screens. "And if that's how they do with raiders it's a wonder they've survived. Looks like their squadron could do with some help."

"Don't be stupid, Starbuck. You know you can't."

"It's what I do best, Tom. The baby will be fine; it's a manual launch. And if I want it to ever have a chance of meeting its father then we need to make sure that we don't have to jump away before we can look for Lee's next message."

He knew that the thrill of potential combat had gripped her. That, combined with the overwhelming desire to be reunited with her family on Galactica, made it useless to argue with her further. Before long they heard her scream of delight as the viper flew away from the Astral Queen and she was immediately into the thick of the fight.

"Astral Queen. This is Pegasus. Prepare to jump to emergency co-ordinates."

When they relayed the message to Kara they could hear her swearing.

"Acknowledged Astral Queen. We'll just have to get them to send a raptor back. I'm heading for Pegasus. See you at the other end."

−


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **I have revised the rating of this version of the story. It's going to step into some controversial territory, but that's nothing new for me or this show. However, as they say on the telly, some people may find some of the following scenes upsetting (please don't shoot me!).

**Chapter 7**

"Pegasus, this is Starbuck of the battlestar Galactica requesting permission to land."

There was a short pause before Kara received an answer.

"Starbuck, Pegasus. You are cleared to land in the forward landing bay."

"Roger that Pegasus."

Kara brought the viper down in a perfect landing and then sat in the cockpit while they completed the jump. An uptight looking man with a Captain's insignia on his uniform was waiting for her when she eventually climbed down the ladder. She saluted him formally.

"Lieutenant Kara Thrace, sir. Assigned to the battlestar Galactica."

"Captain Taylor. I'm the Pegasus CAG. Would you mind telling me why you thought fit to join an operation against the enemy without invitation?"

Careful, Thrace, she mentally admonished herself before she said the first thing that came into her head: you don't want to get off on the wrong foot with these people.

"Sorry sir, just trying to help, sir."

"Well don't do it again. I don't know what went on on the Galactica, but on Pegasus we follow a strict protocol: stops pilots getting killed, lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

She couldn't help the slightly ironic tone creeping in to her voice. Was this guy for real? This jerk didn't just have a stick shoved up his ass; he had the whole damn tree! He made Lee look like Mr laid back: Apollo would have been damned thankful to get any extra help in a fight against the Cylons whether it was against protocol or not. It would have been funny to see how he would have reacted if she'd had a repeat of her last experience on climbing out of a viper and thrown up all over his extremely shiny boots! She'd save that one for another day when he'd really pissed her off.

"You're to report to Admiral Cain's quarters immediately. Don't dawdle: she doesn't like to be kept waiting."

−

"Lieutenant Kara Thrace reporting as ordered, sir." Kara maintained her best attention stance and salute as the woman in front of her finished what she was doing before giving Kara her full attention.

"At ease lieutenant. So, Galactica survived the Cylon attacks?"

"Yes, sir. The old girl doesn't have any networked computers, so she was unaffected by the Cylon virus. We also have a civilian fleet of around 45,000 people in 60 ships."

"Is Adama still in command?"

"Yes, sir."

"And how did you get separated from you home ship?" Kara explained about the Cylon attack and the problems with the Astral Queen's FTL drive.

"You've been back to Caprica?" Cain asked with interest.

"Yes, sir." Kara didn't think she needed to elaborate on the fact that she'd actually been twice.

"And?"

"It's a nuclear wasteland, sir. Nothing left."

"Damn. I was hoping that at some point we could stop these endless hit and run attacks and take our planets back."

"Sorry, sir. I'm not sure that we'd want what's left of them. That's why we've been trying to get back to Galactica's fleet, but it would appear that they've been jumping quite frequently over recent weeks. They had left us a hidden communication with the latest jump co-ordinates, so we were expecting to find Galactica here when we found Pegasus instead." Cain nodded.

"It makes sense that they've been jumping a lot. We've been tracking the Cylon fleet and they have recently stepped up their jump activity, so I imagine that they must be tracking the Galactica."

"I'd like to go back to our last location and see if they left another marker, sir. We didn't have a chance to search before we jumped."

"What sort of marker?" How did she describe Lee's 'map' technique without it sounding incredibly amateur?

"Um…well they left a piece of viper with my name on it. It was cut in to the shape of the system they were jumping to. It's designed to look like debris to camouflage it from the Cylons." It sounded kind of lame even to Kara. Cain just laughed.

"That's hardly reliable intell, lieutenant. I don't think it's necessary to go back for that. If the Cylon fleet is tracking Galactica then we need to keep tabs on them. We should find Galactica quickly enough that way."

The admiral then started to fire various questions at Kara before she had a chance to put her case further. Who were the other senior officers on board Galactica? Had they engaged the Cylons in battle at all? How many vipers were left in Galactica's squadron? Kara answered all her questions as succinctly as possible. She figured the less she said, the less trouble she was likely to get herself into. Whilst this was a good tactic it wasn't entirely successful.

"Captain Adama is the CAG? The commander's own son? That's highly irregular."

"The commander didn't really have a choice, sir. Galactica's original CAG was killed when the main squadron was destroyed during the Cylon attacks. Captain Adama had been visiting for the decommissioning ceremony and after the attacks he was the most senior pilot on board and the only one even remotely qualified to be CAG."

"Hmm. So how come you weren't with the squadron when it was lost, lieutenant?"

"Ahh…I was…um... I was in hack, sir."

"What charge?"

"Striking a superior officer, sir."

"That's a serious charge. I'm surprised Commander Adama let you get away with keeping your rank, lieutenant. Care to let me know why?"

"I guess it was because he was short of pilots and I'm the best there is and the only qualified flight instructor on Galactica." It was said without any hint of arrogance, just a statement of fact. The admiral nodded in appreciation of a pilot who knew her own worth.

"I watched you in the battle just now. Pretty impressive flying, so let's hope you're able to prove that statement, lieutenant, and show me that what I saw just now wasn't a fluke. I think there are a few viper pilots on Pegasus who'd like to show you who's best, but I'm sure the competition will be to our benefit and the Cylons detriment. That will be all for now, Lieutenant. You can report to the CAG. He'll put you into the flight rotation."

"Um…er…..sir…you should know that my flight status for vipers isn't currently active."

Cain's mobile right eyebrow raised in question.

"Given that you've just been in a dogfight with Cylon raiders in a viper would seem to indicate that you're not abiding by that order, but I'm beginning to appreciate that following orders does not seem to be one of your strong points, lieutenant. Why was your status revoked?" Kara was ready to crawl through the floor, but she figured that she had to make a clean breast of everything.

"I'm pregnant, sir." Cain shook her head in annoyance.

"I can't condone Commander Adama's laxity in letting his pilots get pregnant, but I suppose after all this time in space such accidents are bound to happen. You'd better see the CMO before you report to the CAG. Dismissed."

Kara saluted smartly and left.

−

Kara sat on the sickbay bed waiting for the doctor. As soon as she had put on the hospital gown she had come out in a cold sweat: the last time she had worn one was in the Cylon farm on Caprica. She muttered to herself quietly.

"This is all just routine; they just want to check that you're fit to fly a plane. Get this over with, get in a raptor and go back for Lee's message." She kept repeating these words like a mantra. She didn't care if Cain didn't like it: she was going back to get the message from Lee that she knew would be there. Her thoughts were interrupted by the doctoring entering the room accompanied by a couple of nurses. He was immediately briskly business like.

"Right, lieutenant, legs up." Kara had a sickening flashback of Simon, the Cylon doctor, but managed to comply.

"How far along are you?"

"About twelve weeks, doc." He grunted.

"You should really have sorted this out sooner. I'll just give you a mild sedative and a local anaesthetic."

"What for?" Kara asked, a feeling of panic starting to grip her.

"I thought you knew. Admiral Cain's orders, lieutenant."

"No, no! You can't do this." She started to scramble off the bed as their intent became all too clear to her. The nurses moved to restrain her but she started to struggle and thrash about. One of the nurses got a punch in the face. Then she felt a sharp pinprick in her shoulder.

"Oh Lords, please help me…Artemis…Apollo….help me….Lee….Lee."

Blackness descended over her.

−

When Kara came around she found that she was strapped to the bed with restraints. She shook her head to try and clear the lingering fuzziness.

The soreness of her body told her that it had been done: Lee's child was gone. Apart from the lingering soreness she didn't feel any different. Should she feel any different? She hadn't when she found out that she was pregnant, so it kind of made sense that she felt nothing now that she wasn't. She just felt numb: surely she should feel some pain? Was any of this real at all or had she dreamt it all? No, this had to be real because somewhere deep inside she felt the loss of her baby; she didn't feel pain but she felt….empty. The same doctor that had been there before came in confirming the reality of her situation.

"Ahh, you're back with us."

"Get these things off me," she growled at him as she pushed against the restraints.

"Only if you promise not to hit any more of my staff."

"There's no point now is there; you've done it," she spat at him. He removed the restraints.

"You bled quite a lot so we're keeping you here over night. You can go back on duty tomorrow."

"Gee thanks doc, you're all heart."

"Look lieutenant, I'm sure it doesn't feel like it now but it was for the best. They'll be plenty of time for you to have children when the war's over."

"The war's already over, doc, and we lost. We're just fighting for the survival of our race now and you've just killed one of the last remaining humans in the universe." He blanched at her cold words and the look of pure hatred that she gave him. She turned over on to her side away from him.

"Was it a boy or a girl?" she asked quietly without turning back to look at him.

"I don't know. Perhaps it would be best for you if you just forgot there was ever a baby at all. You're a viper pilot, lieutenant, and that's all that matters on this ship."

She nodded then pretended to go to sleep, but the tears trickled down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Lee" she whispered.

−

By the time they released her the next morning Kara had all her emotions under control with the exception of her anger against Admiral Cain. Her grieving for the loss of her child could wait: that would be something that she would do with Lee when she got back to Galactica. But that didn't mean that she was going to let this violation of her body and her rights go without a fight. Without worrying about the potential consequences she stormed into the Admiral's office.

"How could you?" She spat at the surprised woman.

"I beg your pardon, lieutenant." Cain clearly wasn't used to members of her crew accosting her in this way.

"You know what I'm talking about. How could you, sir?"

"I don't have to account to you for my actions, lieutenant, but I was perfectly within my rights under article 77 to order a medical procedure that was in your best interests. I'm surprised Commander Adama didn't order it earlier."

"In my best interests? What about the interests of my child?"

"We are at war, lieutenant. I have no use for pregnant women or babies on a battlestar: what I need is viper pilots. I can't just pack you off to a planet side desk job and get a trained replacement any more." Her eyes were like flint as she glared at Kara.

"You unfeeling bitch!"

"You might very well think that, lieutenant, but I have to take into account the needs of every single person on this ship, not just one. We attacked what we thought was a Cylon comm relay two days ago. Turns out it was a staging area where there were fifteen squadrons of raiders. And then we were attacked again yesterday, as you saw. We've lost a lot of good pilots and other crew. Over the past months I've seen more young men and women, little more than kids themselves, put into body bags and sent out the airlock than any commander should see in a lifetime. So I'm going to make damn sure that I do everything that I can to protect the people that I have left. If that means that I have to take a difficult decision that affects a single crew member, then I'll take it for the good of the rest. You're a viper pilot: if you're as good a one as you say you are then you can fill some of the gap left by the ones we've lost over the last few days."

Kara stared at her, stunned, as her words registered. It was her fault that Cain had ordered the termination. If she hadn't been in that viper and boasted about how good a pilot she was then it might never have happened. It was all her fault and Lee was never going to forgive her. Cain seemed to pick up on her distraction and pressed her advantage.

"Now, I will let this lapse in discipline go; let's just put it down to stress and say no more about it, but I'll be watching you lieutenant. Dissent is not tolerated on this ship. Do I make myself clear? I expect to hear great things of you when you're in a viper and nothing about you when you're out of it."

Kara pulled herself together and drew herself up to her full height.

"Yes, sir," she replied, saluted and then turned to leave, gripped by a feeling of defeat.

"Lieutenant? One more thing. You're wearing a wedding ring. Is Thrace your married name?"

"No sir."

"And your married name would be…"

"Adama, sir," replied Kara quietly.

"Well that certainly explains a lot. Dismissed."

−

Kara took refuge in a supply cupboard near the hanger deck to try and get her head together, but she couldn't stop crying as the enormity of what had happened to her over the last few days started to sink in. Her baby, perhaps her last link to Lee, was dead and it was all her fault. The Gods were obviously punishing her because she hadn't really wanted the baby in the first place: only now did she realise how wrong she had been in that assumption. Perhaps it was only the comfort of knowing that she had a piece of Lee growing inside of her, but she had come to accept it, long for it, almost, and the hope for the future that the baby represented. Now that hope was gone and her hopes of seeing Lee again were fading. Cain seemed driven to chase the Cylon fleet rather than find Galactica and it seemed that she would let nothing stop that objective. Kara hadn't been so out of it that she hadn't picked up on the ship gossip in sick bay: it would have been pretty difficult to miss. All the crew seemed shaken by the attack on the Cylon staging area and Cain's reaction to it. There was even a rumour that she had shot her XO because he wouldn't order the attack. It seemed clear to Kara that the admiral was teetering on the brink of insanity, and perhaps that attack had already sent her over the edge. She had also heard how civilian vessels had been treated by Pegasus so she was pretty sure that Cain wouldn't want the Astral Queen tagging along in her quest to find the Cylon fleet. She needed to speak with Zarek somehow and soon. Knowing that she was going to be deep shit with Captain Taylor for being late, she scrubbed at her eyes, left her refuge and headed towards the hanger deck. Before she got there she ran into the Astral Queen's deckhand. It wasn't Zarek, but this might be the only opportunity she got.

"Joe! What are you doing here?"

"They've drafted me in to the deck crew," he said proudly.

So it had already started: this confirmed what she had heard. Joe was likely to be one of the lucky ones. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. She was stuck here, but the others didn't need to be. She grabbed him by the arm to get his full attention.

"Joe, you have to tell Zarek to get away. He needs to jump the Queen back to our last position and find Galactica's next message to get back to the fleet."

"But why?"

"Because this ship won't protect the Astral Queen like the Galactica. Rumours on the ship are that they strip civilian ships of supplies and useful crew and then just abandon them."

"No way; they wouldn't!" His expression changed all of a sudden. "Frak me! The first job they've asked me to do is go back to the Queen and do an inventory of all the equipment and parts on board!"

"Yeah, and I bet that's not all they're checking out."

"The admiral came on board yesterday and met with Zarek. It all seemed very friendly to me but then what would I know." He suddenly stopped as he looked at Kara carefully. "Are you OK, Starbuck? You don't look so hot."

"I'm fine Joe. Don't worry about me. Just get to Zarek ASAP."

"I was just on my way to a transport that's due to go over in a few minutes."

"Good. Get them to jump as soon as you can without any word to Pegasus. And don't tell anyone here that you've spoken to me."

"Aren't you coming too?"

Kara would have liked nothing better, but she knew that she was being watched at the moment. She only hoped that no one had picked up on her conversation with Joe.

"No, I'm staying here. Don't worry about me: I'll be fine," she lied valiantly.

−

She was met on the flight deck by an irate Captain Taylor. She gave him a bland look.

"About time, Thrace: don't be late again. You're coming out on patrol with me as my wingman. I need to see what you can do. You don't have any kill markers on your plane so you can only improve."

She went towards her viper. Thankfully the deck crew had obviously given it an overhaul. One of them was about to paint over Lee's name on the side of the plane.

"No! You don't touch that."

"But sir, it's not your name."

"I don't care. Nobody touches that marker. Ever. OK?"

"Yeeees, sir." The deckhand beat a hasty retreat as she climbed into the viper.

By the time they were an hour in to the patrol Kara was ready to explode. Stinger had made her go through all the routine manoeuvres as if she were some rookie just out of flight school.

"Can you do a reverse spiral turn, lieutenant?"

"Of course I can you moron; I could do it in my sleep. I was a flight instructor, asshole; I taught other pilots how to do this manoeuvre. I can do things in a viper that you can barely dream about; they would make you piss your pants with fright, you total frakwit." That was what she was thinking, but what she actually said was: "Of course, sir," as she executed the manoeuvre perfectly.

Any second now she was gonna snap and break loose. Fortunately they were interrupted by a communication from Pegasus before she could blot her copy book.

"Stinger, Pegasus. Astral Queen is powering up its FTL. Please proceed to intercept."

Good, thought Kara. Zarek got her message. The Astral Queen jumped before they could get there. She allowed herself a twisted smile: at least most of the occupants of the Queen were safe.

−

Admiral Cain was furious. She had obviously realised during her visit that the Astral Queen would have been a significant supply source for Pegasus. Kara was hauled into a conference room with the CAG and Colonel Fisk, the new XO.

"Did you tell Zarek to jump away?" Cain demanded.

"I haven't spoken with Tom Zarek since I left the Astral Queen." Kara stated, which was technically true.

"Then why has he left?"

"Who knows? He is a terrorist after all. Perhaps he believes he would be better off finding Galactica than staying with Pegasus and has gone back to where we were tracking her."

The insolent tone of this reply was a mistake. Admiral Cain got right in her face.

"Has this all been some elaborate game, Thrace? Have you and Zarek been trying to play me? Maybe you're just a bunch of mercenary pirates fleecing any colonial ships that you can find. And maybe he got spooked because everything wasn't going according to plan. He seemed very concerned about you when I met him yesterday. What exactly is your relationship with him? Are you just pretending to be a colonial officer and related to another senior officer? Or are you actually a Cylon agent sent to infiltrate this ship? We've already got a Cylon prisoner on board. Colonel Fisk will take you to see what's left of her so that you can see what we do to Cylons." Kara refused to be intimidated. She looked Cain straight in the eye as she replied.

"No sir, I'm not a Cylon and I'm nothing to Tom Zarek. I'm just a screw up pilot with a habit of acting before she thinks so that she's always in the wrong place at the wrong time." She couldn't help the bitterness creeping in to her voice.

"I'll agree that you seem to be a screw up, Thrace. I've seen far too much of you over the past two days. All I want to hear from now on is that you are doing nothing but shooting Cylons out of the frakking sky! Remember that I'm watching you lieutenant."

Yeah, and I'm watching you thought Kara.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: **So I know it's been ages and the "life got in the way" excuse is a bit lame, but hey, shit happens! This fic and its sister/brother have been playing on my mind so I'm now going to try and finish them both.

−

**Chapter 8**

Lee sat at his desk and stared at the wall. This had been happening more and more frequently in the time since they had lost the Astral Queen. Something would trigger a memory of Kara and then his concentration would be broken and all he could think about was her. He wished he had a cubit for every time he had cursed himself for his boorish behaviour that day; shouting at her when he should have had the sensitivity to realise that she needed his help adjusting to the changes in her life. He acknowledged that on numerous occasions during their short marriage he had sucked as a husband. Now, when he had lost her, he didn't dwell on all the times she had frustrated the hell out of him in return, but on all their good times. His heart ached at the memories of the love they had shared and he prayed that he would be given a chance to make it up to her; he would do anything to have her with him again rather than be sitting here alone staring at this damned grey wall. As he sat there, he let his mind wander again, but he didn't recall that last time they had been in this office, trading insults, but a time a few weeks before to a wonderful moment between them that he would never forget. She had come in and shut the door quietly. He could still remember looking up from his paperwork and feeling his heart starting to beat faster as she had come around and sat on his lap, linking her arms around his neck. He thought that he was the luckiest man left alive to have her so, for once, he had ignored the "no fraternising on duty" dictate and had reached up and kissed her deeply. Even now, weeks later, if he shut his eyes and concentrated hard enough he imagined that he could almost still taste her on his lips. He could definitely still recall their conversation as if it were yesterday.

"_To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from you in the middle of the shift, lieutenant?"_

"_Well I've got some news, Captain."_

"_Good or bad?"_

"_Both." She had a slight smile playing around her mouth. He couldn't resist leaning in and kissing its curve._

"_Let's have the bad first and get it out of the way." _

"_You're gonna have to re-do the flight schedules."_

"_Oh Gods, again? I just finished them," he whined. "Why?"_

"_Well that's the good news, at least I hope you'll think it's good news."_

"_Re-doing the flight schedules is never good news. What do I have to change?"_

"_You need to take me out of them."_

"_Huh? How can that be good news?"_

"_Umm…well…because…because we're gonna have a baby, Lee." _

_She looked at him with that kind of worried smile she sometimes got, her lower lip caught between her teeth and he just stared at her stunned while his heart thumped ten to the dozen in his chest._

"_Really?" he whispered. She nodded. He pulled her to him and started kissing her. He couldn't stop kissing her. He rained kisses all over her face until she laughingly grabbed his head to make him stop._

"_So I take it re-doing the flight schedules can be good news after all?"_

"Oh Kara, I love you so much. Please come back to me," Lee moaned quietly as the memory played over in his head. He was broken out of his reverie and brought back to the present by the sound of action stations being called.

"_Action stations, action stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. Captain Adama to CIC, pass the word for Captain Adama_."

Reluctantly pushing the vision of Kara to the back of his mind, he sprung into life and headed to CIC.

─

CIC was all action when he got there.

"Sitrep?" he asked immediately.

"An unknown vessel has jumped in on the edge of dradis. ETA six minutes," his father updated him.

"Is it the Cylons?"

"Not sure, but let's launch the alert fighters just in case."

"Yes sir."

Lee went to his station to put the orders into action. Peripherally he followed what was going on around him.

"Commander…sir," Dee's voice floated over the others in CIC. "The ship is hailing us. They have colonial id codes and according to the codes it's the Astral Queen, sir."

There were a couple of whoops and hollers of triumph around the CIC but they were muted: they all remembered the last time they thought that they had found a lost colonial ship when the Olympic Carrier had returned from the dead. Lee felt his heart lurch into his stomach and his knees almost gave way. He moved closer to his father as the commander had Dee put him through to the returning ship.

"Ship claiming to be the Astral Queen, I want to speak with Tom Zarek."

"You've got him, commander." Zarek's easily recognisable voice came over the comm. "It's good to hear your voice."

"Surprisingly, I can actually say the same for once, but we need some more proof than just codes Zarek that you and your crew are who you say are."

"I understand Commander, but I can assure you that we're no Olympic Carrier. If your fighters want to do a fly past they'll see people on board and if you want to scan you'll see that all our weapons are powered down."

Adama glanced up at Gaeta who nodded at him and Duck's voice over the radio confirmed Zarek's words.

"Alright, but you'll understand that Galactica's vipers will escort you back in to the fleet and I'd like to invite you on board Galactica for a full de-brief."

"Understood commander and we definitely need to talk."

"One more thing, I believe that you have one of my pilots on board. Can I speak with Starbuck?" Zarek didn't immediately answer. "You do you have Lieutenant Thrace on board don't you?" There was a further pause before Zarek spoke again.

"Not any more," he said quietly.

"Oh, no," Lee moaned. His father steadied him as he swayed.

"Thank you Mr Zarek: we obviously do need to talk. Galactica out."

─

As soon as the shuttle from the Astral Queen docked in the hanger bay and Tom Zarek appeared in the hatchway, Lee was on him before his father or anyone else could stop him. He bodily grabbed Zarek's jacket with both hands.

"Where is she?" he demanded through gritted teeth.

"Good to see you too, Captain Apollo!"

"Don't frak with me you bastard. Where's my wife?" He tightened his hold on Zarek even further and there was a murderous intent in his eyes.

"She's on the battlestar Pegasus."

"What!" This word was chorused by Lee, Adama, Tigh and just about everyone else on the hanger deck simultaneously.

"We found another surviving battlestar: The Pegasus. Starbuck stayed on that ship and sent us to find you." Lee frowned at this explanation but loosened his hold on Zarek's jacket, much to Tom's relief.

"Why wouldn't the Pegasus come with you? Surely they'd want to find us as well?"

Adama had been looking at Zarek's face during this exchange and knew there was more to the situation than he was giving away.

"Shall we take this conversation to my quarters?" Zarek looked up at him and nodded.

"Very wise, commander."

Once they were in Adama's quarters and the president had joined them from Colonial One, Zarek explained about finding the Pegasus and Kara's warning that the bigger ship couldn't be trusted to protect a civilian ship like the Astral Queen.

"I don't know the details about what caused her concern, but I trusted her judgement enough to know that she wouldn't give that warning without due cause. My own suspicions had already been aroused by Admiral Cain's keen interest in our supply and weapons status."

"I can't believe that you left her," Lee growled.

"Believe me, Captain, it wouldn't have been my choice but I respected her decision. After all she is a member of the colonial military on a military ship. I figured she wasn't the one in danger."

Adama was thoughtful. For once he trusted Zarek's interpretation of the situation; the man had nothing to gain from dissembling after all. However, he knew that he had a duty to reunite Galactica with the command battlestar; Admiral Cain would expect nothing less. He did not know her well, but he knew enough of her tough reputation to guess at the methods that she had used to keep her crew and her ship going alone against the Cylons all this time.

"Thank you Mr Zarek. We need to find the Pegasus asap, so I would be grateful if your navigation officer would co-ordinate with Lt Gaeta to provide Pegasus' last location."

"Of course."

"Madame President, gentleman, I don't want this information going any further as yet. Let's find the Pegasus first before we raise people's hopes."

Everyone agreed and the meeting broke up. As Lee walked back to his office his emotions defied description. He felt overwhelming relief to know that Kara was still alive, but utter frustration that she wasn't back with him when the rest of the crew of the Astral Queen had returned safely. A hard knot of anxiety that all was not well on the Pegasus had also settled in his chest when Zarek had told them of Kara's message.

The man in question fell into step beside him. Lee did his best to ignore him, not sure that he could remain civil, but Zarek obviously was not going to be put off from saying what he needed to say.

"Captain, I can understand why you are so desperate to find your wife. I spent almost a month in her company and got to know her much better than I had before, so I know that you are a very lucky man." Lee stopped walking and looked at Zarek, eyebrow raised in enquiry. Zarek gave a rye laugh. "Not in that way, Captain; you have no need to be jealous. Starbuck and I are not exactly each other's type and I know a woman whose heart is committed elsewhere when I see one, but we did become friends, I think. If I could have waited until she could have made it back onto the Astral Queen I would have, but I can assure you that she was fine when she left us. They were both fine." Lee stared at Zarek for several moments and then nodded.

"Thank you. I really needed to know that…And Zarek…..thanks for taking care of them for me." Tentatively, he put out his hand to the older man and Zarek took it in a firm hold.

"It was a pleasure."

It was not a complete truce but a certain détente had been reached between them.

─

It took three jumps and almost as many weeks but they found them. After the third jump a colonial signal appeared on dradis almost immediately and Adama knew that it could only be one ship.

"Battlestar Pegasus, this is the battlestar Galactica. Galactica actual requesting to speak with Pegasus actual."

"Galactica actual, this is Pegasus actual. Welcome back to the colonial fleet, commander."

"Thank you admiral. Can I invite you on board Galactica for an inspection?"

"Gladly, commander. Pegasus out."

Adama left CIC to put on his dress uniform and greet his superior. He had a feeling the meeting would not be an easy one.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note**: Thanks for all the encouragement to continue after so long away. I'm kind of on a roll with this one now so here's the next mega-angsty instalment!

**Chapter 9**

Cheers rang around the Galactica's hanger bay as Admiral Cain welcomed the crew back to the Colonial fleet. Only a small handful of the people gathered knew of the tension behind this reunion; to the rest of the crew there was a justifiable reason to celebrate the miracle of finding another battlestar.

As the admiral greeted his father and the president, Lee looked about anxiously for Kara as members of the Pegasus crew stepped off their raptor. There was no sign of her. He even stuck his head inside the plane but there was no one left aboard except the pilot and his ECO doing their post-flight checks. He managed to catch his father's eye as the old man escorted the admiral and president off of the deck and gave him a negative shake of his head. His father returned his look with a glare of his own that said "hold on". It was the last thing that Lee wanted to do, but he was sensible enough to realise that he had no choice. Jumping into a viper and racing over to Pegasus to scour the ship for Kara was not likely to endear him to their new CO.

─

Once they were settled in Adama's quarters, the admiral gave them both a brief explanation of what had happened to Pegasus during and after the Cylon attack on the colonies. After that Laura had been called away and now Adama was left alone with his superior.

"I'm sure that you have quite a story to tell as well, commander. I have to congratulate you on surviving this long with what has obviously been severely depleted resources."

"Thank you, admiral. I have a very dedicated and gallant crew. Talking of which, I believe that you have one of my viper pilots on board Pegasus."

"Yes, lieutenant Thrace is with us." Her words lifted a weight from his shoulders but as she looked at him squarely he knew that he still had a fight on his hands to get Kara back.

"What in name of the Lords possessed you to allow your CAG to marry one of his pilots, commander?"

"Well it's not something that I'd ordinarily choose, but things have changed since the Cylons attacked and they will never be the same again. There are no colonies to go back to, no reinforcements, nothing. The old rules hardly apply. Our top priority has to be starting to rebuild the human race and the sooner we start that, the better."

"Not while we're still in the middle of a war."

"I don't think we're in the middle of a war, admiral. The war was over as soon as the Cylons defeated the fleet during the initial attacks. We're just fighting for survival."

"You are a senior officer in the colonial fleet, commander. You took an oath to defend the articles of colonisation, until death if required. That doesn't mean you give up when the odds get difficult."

"I didn't say anything about giving up! My Gods, we've have fought hard every day since the attacks, even inflicted defeats on the enemy, but as commanders we also have to consider the morale of the crew and in our current situation we also have to look to the future of the military. Allowing the crews to have personal relationships is part of that responsibility. Relaxing the rules has allowed me to recruit civilian couples into my crew; good, qualified people who have contributed to the success of our fight."

"Don't give me that crap. You just wanted to play cosy happy families with your son and daughter-in-law. You allowed a military asset to be wasted for the personal indulgence of having a grandchild."

"Hardly," he replied with the ghost of an ironic laugh.

"Well it stops now. I expect the fraternisation regs to be upheld to the letter of the law from now on."

"As you wish, admiral, but I have to advise that I think it is a mistake."

"I'm not interested in your opinion on this, commander, just your adherence to my orders."

"I will abide by them, but let's just say that we'll agree to differ on this one, admiral."

"Well this had better be the only thing we differ on, commander. I expect total loyalty and allegiance from my command staff. And don't think I'm not going to do anything about the issue of your CAG and flight instructor. Lieutenant Thrace will remain on Pegasus and Captain Adama will stay on Galactica. The crew needs to be given the message that fraternisation is not appropriate in our current situation. I also can't allow Captain Adama to continue as CAG: the Gods only know what other laxities he's been allowing in the air group if you give him that example. What were you thinking, making your son the CAG?"

"I had no other choice, sir."

"Well now there is a choice. I'm transferring Captain Taylor to Galactica as the new CAG. He should be able to bring your squadrons into shape and may be Captain Adama will learn some discipline from him, as Lieutenant Thrace has been able to."

This last comment had him worried. He'd never met anyone able to get Kara to learn any discipline, himself included, so he hated to think what methods had been used on her if that was the case. He just prayed that she and his grandchild were alright and that she could hang on until he and Lee could find some way of getting her back to Galactica. He was not going to let this woman intimidate him. She may have been his superior in rank but that could not outweigh his superiority in years, experience or just sheer guile. She needed to know that he had a pretty good idea about some of the less savoury tactics she had used to ensure her ship's survival, and that he would not just roll over like an obedient dog and do the same. He fixed her with a sombre stare.

"Admiral Cain, you've obviously done what you thought you had to for your ship to survive since the cylon attacks. I've done what I've had to do. We may not agree with each other's methods, but that's in the past. To ensure that the human race has a future we need to work together and, yes, you are my superior officer, but don't think for a moment that I won't protect and defend my people with every resource at my disposal if and when I have to."

She stared at him for several moments before draining her glass and setting it back down on the table with a thump.

"Message received commander; loud and clear."

─

Lee sat back and shut his eyes as the raptor steered its way toward Pegasus. Even though he knew she was alive, the knot of anxiety he had felt since the Astral Queen came back without Kara had tightened to almost become a crushing feeling in his chest since his father had told him about the Admiral's crew re-arrangements. Truth be told, although he resented the implication that he was incompetent, he was less concerned about loosing his CAG position than he was about being separated from Kara. His father told him how he had argued with the Admiral for them to at least be allowed a chance to see each other after so long apart and how she had eventually, if reluctantly, agreed. He had gotten on this raptor as soon as he could before she could change her mind.

Lee stepped out of the raptor and looked around at the pristine hanger deck of the Pegasus. A raft of mark VII vipers and raptors were parked as far as the eye could see and he knew a moment of exultation that all this hardware was now available to help in their fight against the Cylons. As he looked around to find someone to ask where to find Lt Thrace his eyes were drawn to one particular viper with some familiar dents and an even more familiar name painted on the side. An unconscious grin spread over his face as he walked over and laid a loving hand on his second favourite lady in the universe.

"I've missed you, old girl. Have they been looking after you here?" He started checking her over and walked round to the other side of the plane only to be confronted by a familiar back view with a well-remembered blond ponytail. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her: ultimate proof that she really was alive and well. Kara was talking with a member of the deck crew and was as yet unaware of his presence. He crept up and put his hands over her face from behind.

"Hello, lieutenant," he whispered in her ear. He could feel the muscles in her cheeks quilt as she instantly recognised his voice.

"Captain Adama, sir," she replied, her voice oddly raspy.

He took his hands from her face and moved them to her shoulders to turn her to face him. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she drank in the sight of him, obviously as overwhelmed to see him as he was to finally have her back. He pulled her close and kissed her, much to the gorking knuckle dragger's amazement.

For those few moments of their first kiss Kara let herself give in to the bliss of Lee's lips against hers and the feeling of safety brought by having his arms around her again, but then she pulled back. She could see his eyes run over her and change from loving to concerned as he registered that she was dressed in a flight suit and quite obviously not pregnant. She shuddered at the thought of what she had to tell him.

"Kara?" he questioned quietly.

"Not here Lee," she whispered back as she looked around anxiously, as if checking to see if they were being watched. With a flick of her head she motioned for him to follow her. She led him to an equipment locker in a side corridor and dogged the hatch behind them. She turned slowly and stood in front of him, her head bowed, obviously trying to compose herself. He did not know what to say. He had been imagining all sorts of things happening to her whilst she had been aboard Pegasus but not this.

"Oh Kara," he whispered softy as he ghosted his hand up and down her flat abdomen. The look of infinite sadness and concern on his face was too much for Kara to bare. The words she had planned to say to him at this moment went out the window as she broke down.

"I'm sorry Lee, I'm so sorry," she sobbed. His own eyes filled with tears as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms tightly round her.

"Shh, shh. I don't blame you Kara. You did what you thought you had to do." As his words registered with her she pulled back slightly from his embrace.

"What do you mean?" she frowned at him.

"Look, Zarek told us about the fight with the Cylons when you first found Pegasus. I guess it was just one viper flight too many for our little one," he said sadly.

"You…you… think I lost the baby because I flew a viper?" She pulled away from him completely and angrily scrubbed at the tears on her cheeks.

"Well…yes…..I just assumed….what else could have happened?" He was floundering at the sight of her rising temper.

"That's just typical of you Lee: assume that I screwed up, make a judgement that it's all my fault before you've even given me a chance to explain."

"No, I don't think it's your fault, Kara…it's just, you did say that you didn't want the baby."

"That's not true! I wanted it; Gods, I wanted it so badly," she shouted at him.

"OK….I'm just….frak, Kara, I'm sorry, I'm handling this really badly…..tell me what happened…please." He held his hand out to her to try and bring her back to him. After a few moments she nodded and reached for his hand, clasping it tightly.

"They took our baby, Lee," she said simply.

"Who? The Cylons?"

"No, not the Cylons, the medics on Pegasus."

"The medics on Pegasus? I don't understand. Was there something wrong with the baby?"

"There was nothing wrong with it except its presence," she said bitterly. "The admiral ordered them to get rid of it so that I could go back to being a viper pilot."

"The admiral?...they…she…she made you have an abortion? And you agreed?"

"I did not agree, Lee! I tried to fight them. I fought them as hard as I could, Lee, I really did. I tried to save your child but they just drugged me and took it anyway."

She was crying in earnest now as all her pent up grief and anger came to the surface; huge, shattering sobs that tore at his heart. He grabbed her to him and they sank to the floor: Lee because his legs gave way as the enormity of what had been done to his wife and child hit him and Kara because in her grief she no longer had the strength to stand. They stayed that way for several minutes, Lee rocking Kara in his arms as the storm of her grief passed. He remained dry-eyed, unable to really believe what had happened.

"I...I can't believe this….it's unreal….that our own people would treat another human being in this way!" his anger started to exert itself as his mind got to grips with the reality of the situation. "How…how dare she do this! How could she do something like that without your consent? It's against all the laws of the colonies."

"She quoted some military reg at me," Kara mumbled, sniffing away the last of her tears. "But you were right, Lee. It was my fault: I did screw up. If I hadn't tried to help out in that fight with the Cylons the admiral need never have known that I was a good pilot."

"No Kara, you are not to blame yourself here. It is not your fault," he told her firmly, knowing that she would do her best to carry all the blame on her shoulders. "This is all down to her and I'll make sure that she pays for it."

He stood up and made to leave but Kara stopped him before he could release the hatch.

"No Lee, you can't confront her in this way. I already tried once when I was so angry that I couldn't think straight and all it got me was pain and trouble."

"You're just going to let her get away with this?"

"No Lee." Her face hardened. "I will get my vengeance, we both will, and when we do it will be total. We owe him that."

"Him? It was a boy?" She faltered and the hard look on her face gave way to one of regret.

"I don't really know; they couldn't or wouldn't tell me. I just had this really strong feeling that it was a boy." She looked up at him as her face crumpled. "I haven't cried since the day I lost him, but now you're here I can't seem to stop."

She buried her face in his chest and her arms clung to him tightly as she started to cry again, quietly this time. The quiet tears affected him more than her violent sobs of earlier and his own tears started to fall as he held her.

"It's OK, Kara…its OK sweetheart, just let it all out. I've got you….I've got you."

"It was your son, Lee! They took our son!" Her tortured words struck him like a sharp pain in his chest and he choked out a sob as he pulled her even more tightly against him, but he knew that they had to get through their grief and carry on with their lives.

"I know, baby, but you have to let him go. Nothing can bring him back now and I know that it will probably hurt forever, but we have to move on."

There was a slight nod of her head against his chest but she just carried on crying. He gently rubbed his hand up and down her back and caressed her hair, the need to comfort her helping him to bury his own grief. He was incredibly worried about her: This wasn't his strong Kara. What had these people done to her to bring his valiant Starbuck to this? He'd never seen her so broken, even when she first came back from Caprica or at Zack's funeral.

"What have they done to you, Kara?" he asked quietly when he thought she had done crying.

"Oh nothing anyone would notice. If I flew my viper and shot toasters out of the sky like a good little girl they left me alone, but one screw up and Taylor would make sure that I was brought back in line." He could tell that she was trying to put a brave face on it and replied in kind.

"I can't believe you've put up with that. Where's my Starbuck hellcat?"

"Believe me, I gave as good as I got: I wasn't gonna make Taylor's life easy, but it's a bit difficult to be a hellcat when you're outnumbered five to one, Lee."

"Did…did they hurt you or…or…touch you?"

"No, that wasn't the admiral's orders. She knew I'd fight back and she didn't want anything done that would stop me or any of the other pilots from being in a plane at all. She couldn't prove it but she was pretty sure I told Zarek to get the frak out of it so she just wanted me to get the message that I was being watched all day, every day and one wrong move could mean the "no touch" orders changing."

"Bitch…..so how long did it take you to become Pegasus' top gun?" A ghost of a smile drifted across her face.

"About two missions. They're good pilots but they're all arrogant frakkers. Even our nuggets could teach them a thing or two about flying in combat."

"That's my girl!" He kissed her forehead. "Do you think that we're being watched at the moment?"

"Not in here, but I bet someone is keeping tabs outside. Taylor told me that we're being given three hours. After that I'm sure that someone will appear at this hatch to escort you back to your raptor. It could be worse Lee. We're lucky that we got a priest to marry us instead of your father. Cain would have had no hesitation in annulling a military marriage as unlawful, but even she won't tamper with something blessed by the Gods."

"She ordered our baby to be killed; I'd say that was tampering with something blessed by the Gods. Don't worry, Kara. I'll speak to dad. We'll come up with a way of getting you back home to Galactica."

"Home! Yeah, that would be good, Lee. This is a strange ship. The crew are incredibly loyal to Cain. They can't seem to see that she leads by fear and intimidation. I mean she shot her XO in front of the whole of CIC and none of them even did anything about that: the woman's frakking nuts but no one's got the balls to stand up to her. Except your father, of course. You better let the old man know that I'm pinning all my hopes on him and he better do something quickly. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand it here before I do something crazy, knowing home is so close by."

"I know, baby, we're gonna do all that we can."

They held each other in silence for a few more minutes, taking comfort from each other's presence whilst they still could.

"Are we OK?" he asked her eventually, trepidation evident in his voice. "I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you straight away. I promised myself that when I got you back I was turning over a new leaf and being a model husband, but I couldn't even make it through our first talk without screwing up."

"I don't want a model husband Lee, I just want you. And let's face it, you must have figured out by now that I'll never be a perfect wife."

"You are my perfect wife, just as you are, Kara. I had plenty of time to think things through while you were gone and I realise that I've generally been a complete prick since we got married."

"Not a complete prick Lee! A bit of one at times, yeah, but you wouldn't be you if you were any other way. And I know I've contributed my fair share to the problem. I guess we just have to adjust to living with our own version of perfection." He glanced at his watch.

"Well, Mrs 'perfect' Adama, what do you want to do with the other 1 hour and 47 minutes allotted to us?"

"You have to ask?" she said, a sexy 'Starbuck' grin on her face before she sobered slightly. "Love me Lee, can you just please love me? I really need to know that you still do."

He didn't bother with words in reply but kissed her gently and then more urgently, his hands creeping under her tanks to caress the soft flesh below her breasts. He could have cried at the way she trembled at his touch, but then she seemed to gain back some of her old passion as her own hands got to work on his pants. As she plunged her tongue more deeply against his and her hands cupped his ass to pull him against her, all control left him. They were naked and writhing against each other in no time at all.

"Now Lee. Gods, I need you inside me, now," she gasped.

He didn't need to be asked twice as he pushed her back against the wall and entered her in one swift movement. It was over almost as quickly as it had begun as they both got the release that they so badly needed. He collapsed weakly against her after he was spent. They were both gasping and fighting to regain their breath. Frantic sex against the wall of an equipment locker was not how he had imagined their reunion, but he had needed it as much as she did. Recovering quickly he pulled back slightly and took her face in his hands.

"We'll get through this, Kara. We'll get through this because I love you more than life itself and I won't let us be apart for a moment longer than we have to be. And the Gods willing one day we'll be able to make another baby, but only when you're good and ready." She turned her head very slightly and kissed his hand softly.

"I love you too Lee."

With an intent look on his face he picked her up and carried her further into the room. Shoving a pile of blankets on to the floor with his foot, he laid her down on this temporary bed and began to kiss her; soft, teasing kisses, starting at her neck and working his way down her body.

Kara let her hands drift through his hair. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the sensations that he was creating. She needed this: she needed this so very badly. She would cling to this memory of him playing her body like she was a fine violin when duty and a mad admiral separated them again. As he returned to kiss her lips again she opened her eyes and let all her feelings show as she held his gaze.

"I know, Kara, I know. Me too."

The sex was gentler this time but no less intense. It was as if they both needed to imprint the memory of the other into their minds and bodies. Their enforced separation and its tragic consequences had given them the wake up call that they needed to understand that they couldn't take their relationship for granted. There were still many issues to resolve between them, but they had made more progress in those three short hours than in the whole of the previous year together.

When their time was up they left the equipment locker separately; Lee to return to his raptor and Kara to her rack. As she entered the bunk room, Captain Taylor was packing his gear for the move to Galactica. Emboldened by her reunion with Lee, a touch of the old Starbuck crept out.

"Have fun on Galactica, sir. I'm sure you'll enjoy being the newbie there as much as I've enjoyed it here." She smiled sweetly at him, enjoying his uncomfortable and worried scowl!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Lee sat in his father's office waiting for the commander to return from Colonial One. He was grateful for the time to catch his breath. These were just about the first quiet moments he had had since the arrival of Pegasus; a first chance to reflect on all that had happened since that first contact had been made. He wondered whether it was possible for anyone to have a more frakked up day than the last twenty four hours had been for him. It was difficult to compare anything to the nightmare day when the Cylons had destroyed their worlds, or the day on which Kara had jumped to Caprica and his father had been shot, but this one was certainly making a very strong play to take third spot in his opinion. His emotions had gone through one hell of a rollercoaster ride from the euphoria of seeing Kara alive to the depths of despair at being told of the loss of their child. Things had not improved after he had reluctantly left her on Pegasus. To his dismay he found that he had to share the raptor back over to Galactica with Captain Taylor. He had just wanted to brood on his own over Kara's devastating news and their enforced separation, but instead he had to contend with his new CO. He couldn't hide the contempt in his face as he stared at the man. Stinger obviously did not like the scrutiny.

"Captain Adama, I hope your attitude is going to improve or you'll loose your rank as well as your position."

"At least I'd loose it with a clear conscience," Lee replied, belligerently.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Taylor demanded.

"You know what I'm talking about," Lee spat out, unable to contain his fury. "I've just seen my wife. I don't know how you people can live with yourselves." The contempt in his voice was obvious.

"Lieutenant Thrace has nothing to complain about. She's been a royal pain in the ass ever since she came on board Pegasus. She's lucky she didn't get worse."

"Worse? What could be worse than having your baby taken from you?" Lee shouted, oblivious to the sudden startled interest of Racetrack and her ECO to their argument.

"What baby? What are you talking about? You're frakked in the head. She hasn't got a baby."

"She hasn't now, but Kara was pregnant when she went aboard Pegasus. She should be over five months gone by now. Does she look that pregnant to you?"

"I…I…" The new Galactica CAG was lost for words.

"Oh don't give me that innocent crap. You can't tell me that as CAG you didn't know that the admiral ordered an abortion to be performed on one of your pilots, without her consent."

"Apollo, I swear that I didn't know. I would never……frak…..that can't be true."

"Just ask your medical staff on Pegasus. Seems they have no inhibitions about carrying out the admiral's orders even if they are against the laws," said Lee, bitterly.

"Shit, man….I'm sorry….I really didn't know and she never said anything. Gods, no wonder she was such a bitch to work with." A wry smile ghosted across Lee's face as he calmed somewhat in the face of Taylor's obvious confusion.

"No, she's pretty much like that all the time. You really didn't know?"

"I swear it." The man looked genuine in his denial. "Look, Cain's a good commander. She's very single minded and I learnt long ago not to question her decisions and to turn a blind eye to some things that go on, but if I'd known about an order like that I would have questioned it. As much as I think that any viper pilot should be kept in the air there are limits. The admiral's been different since the XO died; he used to be the one to keep her grounded. Fisk is OK but he's just a yes man in comparison, so she's pretty much been flying solo. I admit that I don't always agree with some of her methods but the fact that we're still here at all is down to her."

"That doesn't make it any easier for me to understand why no one did anything to help my wife and child."

"No, I'm sure it doesn't, but that's just the way it is. Look, we're gonna have to work together. I don't expect you to agree with all my methods either, but I expect you to comply and support me with the pilots. I'm not insensitive to your situation. I'll do what I can to give you and Starbuck some time together. I'll schedule you for courier runs to Pegasus whenever I can." Lee nodded in recognition of the effort the other man was obviously making.

"Thanks. That would be good. And I'll do what I can to smooth the transition with the Galactica air group, especially as I think we're gonna see some action. Rumour mill has it that now the admiral has two battlestars she wants to take on the Cylon fleet."

"Yeah. There's to be a recon mission to get a closer look at one of the Cylon ships as a prelude to an all out attack on their fleet." Lee's interest was caught by an opportunity to show what Galactica's people could do.

"Well if you need to get really up close and personal with the Cylon fleet I should go in the Blackbird." He suggested. Taylor looked sceptical, obviously having seen the ship that they had recently constructed on Galactica. Lee smiled slightly knowing that the ship was a pretty strange looking beast. "No, believe me it really does work: I've flown it. And, hey, what have you got to loose? If I get myself killed everyone will just assume that Galactica's home made tin can really was crap, and if I come back with good recon pictures you get all the glory for having ordered me to go." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the older man.

"You'd really fly that thing right in to the Cylon fleet?" Stinger asked incredulously.

"Yeah. What have I got to loose? I've lost my job, I'm being kept apart from my wife and my baby's dead," Lee replied with a cynical twist of his lips.

"Just don't do anything stupid."

"Flying a bucket of second hand nuts and bolts into the heart of enemy territory? What could possibly be stupid about that?"

So Lee had taken out the Blackbird and taken some pretty pictures of the big Cylon ship, which even the admiral had been impressed with. Apparently Dr Baltar had found out from the Cylon prisoner aboard Pegasus that the ship was really important to the Cylon fleet so Cain was determined to destroy it. The planning for an all out attack was now underway, but tensions were running high between the two crews. Thanks to his somewhat indiscrete outburst to Stinger, the rumours about what had happened to Starbuck on Pegasus were circulating Galactica like wildfire. Lee dearly wished that he had ordered Racetrack and Jingles to keep silent about anything that they had overheard in that raptor. Right now this was no one's business but his and Kara's and he did not want anyone on Galactica to use rumour and speculation to start a fight with the flag ship. No one had had the guts to ask him outright if the rumours were true, but that was probably because Helo, the person most likely to do it, was currently languishing in Pegasus' brig after an incident with his toaster girlfriend. Even that had degenerated relations between the crews still further: she may have been a toaster, but she was their toaster and they didn't take too kindly to members of Pegasus crew attacking her. It was taking all of Lee's strength to carry on as if nothing had happened and play dutiful second fiddle to Taylor. The air group were being close to openly hostile towards Stinger and only Lee's apparent acceptance of the situation was stopping them from being all out insubordinate.

At last his father came through the hatch. He looked tired and even more stern than usual. The two men looked at each other for a moment then shared the briefest of tight hugs without having uttered a word; a silent acknowledgement that, despite past differences, in times of trouble there was nothing more important than family. His father pulled back and smiled slightly, obviously wanting to try and lighten the mood a little.

"How's Kara? Is she getting on OK over there? I bet she's showing by now."

All of a sudden Lee was overwhelmed with emotion. He had to bring a hand to his mouth to stop himself from crying out. He had kept a tight lid on his feelings since he had left Kara, but those few simple words from his father had broken through his defences. He knew that he was going to break down in front of the one man from whom he had hidden his emotions his entire life. Yet in this moment it no longer felt like failure. His father was the one person who would understand what he was feeling at the moment. He loved Kara like a daughter and he too knew the pain of loosing a child. Lee choked on a sob and tasted bile in his throat and he had to swallow hard to stop himself from vomiting. "Oh Gods," he cried in pain as the tears he could no longer hold back spilled down his cheeks.

"Lee! What is it? What have they done to our girl?"

"Dad…Oh Gods, Dad," he gasped out. "I can't even bring myself to say it."

"The baby?" His father guessed and Lee nodded, his face anguished.

"I was worried something like that may have happened." He dropped a hand on to his son's shoulder and squeezed it in sympathy. Despite his misgivings as a commander, on a more personal level he had been looking forward to becoming a grandfather. "There'll be other chances for children, son," he said gruffly. It was obvious to Lee that his father had jumped to the same conclusion that he had: any decent person would.

"She didn't loose it naturally, dad. The admiral order Kara's pregnancy to be terminated."

"What?"

"It's true, Dad. She was drugged and the baby aborted against her will. Just so she could go back to flying vipers." The bitterness in Lee's voice convinced him of the veracity of his words and Adama felt an overwhelming fury against the woman who had hurt his children in such a despicably callous way.

"We have to get her out of there, dad. I don't know how much longer she can survive. They've really screwed her up. She's putting on her best brave 'Starbuck' face but underneath she's a mess. I've never seen her so fragile. You know how she gets when she's like that. She's gonna do something crazy and Cain's just looking for any excuse to hurt her further and get at you."

Adama clamped down on his fury; he needed to think clearly at this moment so that he could use his and Lee's anger in the right way. He grabbed Lee to him, just wanting to comfort his obviously distraught boy and hating that he could not ease his son's distress any further.

"Don't worry, son. We'll get her home as soon as we can." Lee pulled back and wiped his face, trying to recover himself.

"What's gone wrong, dad?" he said in a voice of infinite tiredness. "When did we become our own enemy?"

"I don't know, Lee. I honestly don't know. If we're not careful we'll do the Cylons' job for them and finish off the human race by ourselves. I've just come from a discussion with the president. It seems that her sources have confirmed Zarek's theories about what happened to Pegasus' civilian fleet. She was urging me to arrange for the admiral to be assassinated. She seemed to think that Cain was too dangerous to be allowed to continue in command and that she would also be organising the same fate for me. What you've just told me has added further weight to the President's arguments and I'm inclined to agree that the admiral needs to be removed. She's obviously unstable and that instability is likely to carve the fleet apart."

"Can't you just assume command? I'm sure that there will be plenty of people who would back up any charges."

"And have Cain plotting insurrection and mutiny from the brig? No, there are too many people on Pegasus loyal to her. She has to be taken out of the equation permanently." Lee nodded in agreement.

"You're right and I agree completely. It's got to be done and I want to be the one to do it, Dad. You just tell me where and when and I'll do it." Lee said with conviction.

"Are you sure that you can be rational about this, Captain? This mission will require steady thought and a clear, focused mind."

"Yeah and it also needs someone who's committed to the task."

"We're not talking about some long range assault here, but assassinating the ranking officer in the fleet in cold blood."

"Don't you trust me to do this, Dad?"

"Of course I do, son; there's no one I'd trust more, but I know you and your morality. I know how you struggled to come to terms with what you had to do to the Olympic Carrier. I just want to make sure that you won't back out of this when the time comes."

"That was completely different. Anyone still alive on the Olympic Carrier would have been an innocent victim. We're talking about eliminating a woman who has destroyed the lives of countless civilians and who has committed a capital crime against an innocent child. She deserves to die for her crimes."

"People could say that she should be brought to trial for them; that she should face a judge and a jury of her peers as colonial law dictates."

"Do you really think that we have time for the niceties of colonial law? Cain certainly hasn't bothered with them. Did she give Helo a fair trial? Did she give Kara a chance to plead the case for our son? No. Kara and I have more right than anyone to be her judge and jury. And the president's right: Cain won't think twice about having you killed if she thinks you're a danger to her command. We need to act before she has a chance." His father stared at him intently for a few more moments.

"I had to make sure," he said quietly.

"I know, sir," Lee replied in kind.

"OK, this is how I want it done. We can't do anything until after the attack on the Cylon fleet: that's too important to jeopardise because of internal politics, but after the attack on the Cylons I will send you to Pegasus with my report and dispatches, with orders to hand them directly to the admiral and no one else. She will probably have gone back to her quarters by then, which will be better than doing it in CIC. Take Kara with you as back up. As soon as it's done put in a call to Galactica and give the code word "hell fire". I'll have Tigh standing by with a team of marines to secure Pegasus CIC. And as soon as you've made that call you get the hell out of there and you bring our girl home. I want to see you both standing safe in this office, is that clear?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good hunting, son, but be careful: Cain's not worth dieing over."

"I'll do my best, Dad, but I know that neither Kara nor I will have any peace unless it's done."

"I know, son, I know." Adama replied gruffly. He held out his hand to his son and Lee grabbed it and shook it firmly, both men for once completely in accord with each other.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Author's note: **Sorry that this story has been languishing for 18 months. I know that I'm now flitting between unfinished stories like a mad, flitty thing but I found this chapter half finished and suddenly got the inspiration to finish it.

**Chapter 11**

Lee ran his increasingly sweaty palms over his flight suit as his raptor landed on Pegasus. He was greeted by the sounds of celebration as he stepped on to the deck. He could not help a smile from coming to his lips. They really had kicked the Cylons' butts today. His own part in piloting the blackbird and knocking out the FTL drive on the Cylons' so-called resurrection ship had even won praise from Admiral Cain. Although he doubted that he would be getting any similar praise from his father as he had only brought back half the ship in a landing as exhilarating as it was dangerous, and which had left several nasty dents in Galactica's landing bay! He stepped further onto the deck in amongst the crowd of pilots and deck crew. There was a shriek and a flash of blonde beside him before he was hit squarely in the chest by his ecstatic wife. He grabbed her by instinct as she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him thoroughly, obviously still on an adrenaline high from the recent battle.

"Gods I'm so glad you're here: there is no turn on like successful combat and that combat was frakking beautiful. Take me somewhere private and frak me stupid right now, Captain."

He was torn by the raging desire that her words conjured in him and carrying out his all important mission. Mission won but it gave him an idea for some cover. He deliberately returned Kara's kiss with fervour and very loudly carried her off towards their favourite equipment locker. She unwittingly helped with the ruse by screaming gleefully at the deck chief.

"Don't come looking for any spares for the next three hours, Chief, unless you're into really serious porn."

When they reached the equipment locker he put Kara down and she immediately reached for the fastening of his pants.

"We must wipe out half the Cylon fleet more often if this is the reward we get," she panted excitedly as her nimble fingers worked on the zippers. He reluctantly pushed her hands away and did his fly back up.

"We can't Kara." She looked at him as if he had gone mad.

"Why the frak not?"

"Because I'm here to see the Admiral. The old man sent me over to deliver his report."

"Hhhmmph." she crossed her arms over her chest belligerently. He stroked her cheek gently when she would not look at him.

"There's nothing I'd like more right now than to make love to you, Kara, but this is important. It's our chance for some payback."

"What do you mean?" she questioned, her interest sparked.

"The president and the old man want her taken out. I volunteered: figured I'd got more reason than anyone for wanting her dead."

"They ordered you to assassinate Admiral Cain?"

"It's the only way, Kara. I'd bet my last cubit she's got a similar plan for my Dad. She's criminally insane and I for one am not gonna allow her a chance to do to someone else what she did to you and our baby or all those civilians in the Pegasus fleet." She nodded in thoughtful agreement and moved on immediately to practicalities.

"So what's the plan?"

"Well it's kind of a work in progress at the moment. I was assuming that she would go back to her quarters once the clean up had finished. I was going to get in under the premise of giving her Dad's report and then we do it there while she's alone. Afterwards we come back here as quickly and quietly as we can and make it look like we've been screwing each other every which way since we left the hanger deck."

"That's a lame ass plan even for you; although I kinda like the last part," she replied with a smirk.

"Got any better ideas?"

"Nope, not really. I'll cover the corridor outside her quarters while you get in, but then I want to be the one to do it," she said with determination.

"You deserve nothing less, but I'll be right behind you."

He lent forward and kissed her softly but thoroughly. Then he led her back out into the corridor. They started to make their way through the ship as stealthily as possible. The less people that saw them, the less witnesses there were to scupper their "we we're frakking" alibi. It was not as hard as Lee thought it might be because most of the crew seemed to have joined the party in the hanger deck. They were both quiet and the tension in his neck and shoulders seemed to increase with each step. He glanced across at Kara occasionally. She had a sort of concentrated frown on her face but he took that as a preparation for what they were about to do. Otherwise she seemed to be alright so he was somewhat surprised when she grabbed his arm and pulled him in to a secluded area just around the corner from their destination.

"We can't do this," she immediately said to him in a fierce whisper.

"Why ever not? You were all for it a few minutes ago." Kara sighed and seemed to draw herself up to steel herself for the explanation of her abrupt about turn around.

"It was a gut reaction, but now I've had a chance to think about it I realise that I don't want his memory associated with something as sordid and nasty as murder."

"You told me that you wanted revenge, total revenge."

"I thought that I did, but now it comes to it I don't want us to sink to her level in his name."

"Even though I've been ordered to do it by the Commander and the President?"

"Even then. We both know why we want to do this and it has nothing to do with orders. But I know that if we do this we will always associate it with him: I don't want us to remember him in that way. I want to remember him knowing that his death made a positive difference to us in the way in which we moved on and recovered from his loss. I've learnt a lot about myself over the last few months, Lee. I've come to understand my faults as a person and as your partner much better, but I've also learnt to appreciate how those faults are balanced out by my good points. I want to build on those from now on, not slip back into the bad habit of fight first, regret later: that is what this would be if we go ahead."

He stared into her eyes for a few moments then nodded. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek and caressed her face "Gods, I'm so proud of you Kara Adama and if it's even possible I love you even more at this moment than I did before," he said, his voice full of emotion. He pulled her to him and they hugged fiercely for a few moments. "Help me, Kara, help me let go of all the anger," he whispered as he kissed her cheek.

"We'll help each other, Lee: that's what marriage is all about."

They held each other for a few moments more, both deeply affected by their decision. As Lee pulled back he dashed a hand across his face to wipe away the tell tale wetness coating his cheeks.

"I suppose I still have to deliver this report. I hope my father actually wrote something other then "die bitch" otherwise I'm gonna look really stupid," he said with a wry grin, trying to use bravado to cover his emotion.

"I'm sure you'll be able to wing it. It'll be just like a morning briefing with Tigh only without the alcohol fumes."

They moved out from their cover and turned the corner. They were surprised to find the admiral's quarters unlocked. Pushing the door open they gasped in unison at seeing Admiral Cain lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

"Gods, looks like someone beat us to it." Exchanging glances with Kara, Lee bent down and pressed his fingers to the admiral's throat. "Dead. Not long though by the looks of the blood flow and she's still warm."

Kara pulled her weapon and checked the rest of the quarters but found no one. She came to stand by Lee who had not moved from his spot beside the admiral's body.

"This was meant, Lee," she stated with quiet conviction. "If we hadn't stopped we probably would have been here with her killer and then the Gods only know what would have happened." She shuddered as a number of disturbing possibilities flicked through her mind in vivid technicolor.

"Yeah," he replied thoughtfully as he also drew his weapon and stood up. "Bitch got what she deserved." They looked at each other intently for a few moments then simultaneously aimed their weapons at the admiral's body. The dual retorts of their guns echoed around the room then faded to silence.

"Rest in peace, my son," Lee whispered.

XXXXX

The newly appointed admiral of the fleet made his way to Galactica's sick bay to consult with doc Cottle over the autopsy on Admiral Cain. All hell had broken loose on Pegasus when Lee had reported finding Cain dead at the same time as the marine guard in the brig had been found dead with their weapons and the Cylon prisoner missing. Despite a vigorous search there had been no sign of the Cylon who had obviously been able to slip away under the cover of the victory celebrations. He had taken charge and ordered Cain's body brought to Galactica before the more loyal elements of her crew went crazy and tore the ship apart. He found Cottle wiping his hands on a bloodied cloth.

"Well major, what's the verdict?"

"Cause of death was a single gun shot wound to the head. The bullet that I fished out of her skull matched that used in marine rifles like the one taken by the Cylon."

"So that confirms it."

"Just about, but here's the part I don't understand. There were two more bullets, both right in the heart. Different calibre: compatible with standard issue colonial side arms carried by officers. The blood patterns indicate that they weren't fired until around 5 to 10 minutes post-mortem."

"So they had nothing to do with Cain's actual death?"

"No, but…."

"Then I expect your report to simply cover the cause of her death, major Cottle. Any other information is irrelevant."

Cottle stared at Adama for a long minute.

"Whatever you say Commander, or should I say Admiral." He stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. "You and I both know where those other bullets came from. Not that I blame them in the slightest, but this is a matter of potential tampering with the investigation into the murder of a flag officer. I've bent the rules for you before and I'm not happy about doing it again."

"I'm not asking you to lie, major; I'm just asking you to provide me with a report on the cause of her death, nothing more, nothing less." His attitude relented slightly. "I can't…. won't put them through anything more, Jack. They've suffered enough through this episode. The sooner we put this investigation to bed and move forward the better for everybody on both Galactica and Pegasus." Cottle at last nodded then stalked off into the bowels of his sickbay leaving the admiral staring in his wake and hoping that he was doing the right thing for his children and the fleet.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Author's note: **Many thanks for all the feedback on this story: it has inspired me to continue despite the long gap between updates (apologies for that), but hopefully we should reach a conclusion soon.

**Chapter 12**

Kara sipped her drink, trying to make it last. She did not want to be half drunk when Lee finally arrived from his latest stint on Pegasus. She had some important things to say to him and she needed a clear head. They had at last managed to get a 48 hour pass together, as the admiral had suggested before she had been lost on the Astral Queen, and they had agreed that they had some serious talking to do. Since her return they had both been trying really hard with their relationship, but in truth it had been a struggle for both of them. Once the initial euphoria of their reunion had worn off, the cracks had started to reappear. It was Kara's opinion they had been trying too hard to make it right; it just was not natural behaviour for either of them. It was made all the more difficult since they kept being pulled apart to different ships. The admiral was sympathetic to a point, but he needed the Pegasus air group brought in line and he wanted Lee to do it (since she did not seem able to be in the same room with the new Commander without rubbing him up the wrong way). But now they had two days and one of the best rooms on Cloud Nine, which meant they could fight or frak, or more likely both, to their hearts' content and hopefully come out at the end of it with their marriage intact and back on the right track.

Whilst she waited she looked around the bar. Billy and Dee were across the lounge. It looked like she and Lee were not the only ones who needed some work on their relationship, if the look on Dee's face was any indication. Ellen Tigh was propping up the bar; no surprise there then (except that her husband wasn't under it). She was just glancing at a man at the bar and wondering about the strange angle of his jacket when a familiar warm hand slid along the back of her neck, caressing the soft flesh and quickly removing her ability for coherent thought.

"You look good enough to eat, Lieutenant," the owner of the hand whispered in her ear as he moved around for a kiss.

"OK Adama, definitely top marks for a good start even though you're an hour late." She opened her mouth to his kiss and their tongues duelled pleasurably as his thumb continued to caress her neck: there certainly was nothing wrong with the physical side of their relationship. Kara eventually broke away for air and a secret smile flitted across her lips: that had definitely been the reaction she was going for when she picked out the tight fitting black top that she was wearing. She wanted Lee slightly distracted and in a good mood, and judging by the way that his gaze rested on her cleavage that was exactly where she had him! She gave him a quick once over and liked what she saw. "You're not looking so bad yourself, Captain." She enjoyed the slight hint of pink that flushed across his cheeks at the compliment. Lee sat down and motioned to the waitress to take an order for a drink.

"So I checked out the room: I didn't realise accommodation like that still existed."

"Well it helps if you drop the name Adama into the conversation with the receptionist. I don't think I've ever been so happy to use my married name before."

"Thanks," he said, sourly. Uh oh thought Kara; way to go to get the evening off to a bad start. It looked like they were already about the take the plunge into their marital abyss. She was not sure that she really wanted to do this in a public bar but their table was reasonably tucked away and at least the audience might make them more circumspect about shouting and punching, and actually make them to talk somewhat rationally.

"Don't take it so bad. I've only been an Adama for just over a year. You wouldn't know 'cos you're not expected to change yours, but a new name takes some getting used to. And besides, we agreed that I couldn't change my name for work without getting everyone confused about which Adama was giving the orders."

"Yeah, I suppose….but, if we ignore that, would you want to take my name?" Oh yeah the gloves were definitely off!

"Is this some sort of wife test?"

"No…no…it's just..I dunno….I suppose I see it as part of the whole marriage deal. Maybe I'm just old fashioned." She took hold of his hand and made sure that she had his gaze on hers.

"Being a Thrace never got me much but bruises and a bad reputation, but its kinda who I am. I'd be proud to take your name away from the military, but, well I somehow don't believe that I deserve it."

"Kara! Of course you deserve it." He squeezed her hand. "Anyone married to me deserves a medal, not just a name with too many vowels," he said bitterly.

"OK, so we both get top marks for self-deprecation. Let's just agree that we're a pair of screw ups who deserve each other." He smiled at her, that genuine smile that lit up his eyes and did strange things to her insides.

"Ain't that a fact, Mrs Adama. So name issues aside, how are you feeling about things?" She looked down at their joined hands for a moment, trying to judge the best way to start.

"Things are good on the surface, but I guess that I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells with you. I want to feel that everything's alright but I just keep thinking I'm gonna say or do the wrong thing and it's all gonna break down. Then we're back to you being disappointed with me again."

"Yeah it doesn't feel natural to me either, but I'm not looking for things to be disappointed about Kara."

"I know you're not but it's like I know that you're trying not to rather than actually believing in me and just letting it go."

"I have let it go. You have to understand that. I just want you to feel comfortable with me and be yourself again."

"And I think that we're getting there outside of our jobs, but it's that working relationship that is causing the strain. Our differences complement each other in a crisis, but day to day we work in such different ways, and let's face it we both think our own way is the best one, that I think that it sparks the issues in our personal life. And it's not only affecting us, the rest of the pilots are suffering because of it. So the bottom line is that I can't continue to work directly for you anymore." He huffed and looked towards the ceiling for a moment, marshalling his emotions.

"I agree," he said at last. "We'll need to speak to the Admiral about that. It should be easier now that we have Pegasus as well, although that may mean that we end up on different ships."

"Better that than we end up divorced or someone else gets hurt because of our issues." He nodded in acknowledgement and they both paused in thought before Kara began again.

"Lee, can I ask you why you wanted a kid so much?" This was the first time she had raised this since their argument months ago. They had talked through their feelings about losing the baby, but they had studiously ignored this fundamental issue. Lee took a deep breath and puffed out his cheeks on a loud sigh before he replied to her question.

"Well I always really wanted us to have kids eventually, but I suppose I was so keen because I guess I thought that if we had a kid you wouldn't leave me," he mumbled the last bit, cheeks stained with red.

"The vows I made before the Gods weren't enough for you? You should know that I would take that really seriously, Lee. You may not be a believer but there is no way that I would break those vows voluntarily. You're not going to get rid of me very easily you know."

"I know, Kara, and that makes me really happy, but my head is having a bit of trouble catching up with my heart. I'm aware that even though I don't believe in the Gods I should have more belief and faith in you and our love and that's what I'm gonna hold on to in the future. What about you? What made you get pregnant if you really didn't want to be?"

"Hey, it takes one to know one. You always seemed so, so…..disappointed in me, in how our marriage was turning out. I thought that if I gave you the baby you seemed to want so desperately, that we became a family, you wouldn't leave me for someone better. Gods, we're a hopeless pair aren't we? Both insecure and paranoid. Not a good combination in a marriage and certainly not something we should have inflicted on an innocent child. You'd think the pair of us would have had enough experience with dysfunctional families to think more carefully about what we were doing in starting one of our own."

"Yeah, I'm not very proud about what that says about us and our relationship. But what do we do about it, Kara?"

"I don't really know. I'm out of my depth here, Lee. I've never been in a relationship like this before; certainly not one that was so important to me. And before you ask, not even with Zak."

"What about counselling Kara? I think we need some professional help."

"That would be typical wouldn't it? 50,000 humans left alive and at least ten of them are marriage councillors."

"Actually there are four, although I think that two of them are just general councillors"

"You asked?" she said incredulously.

"Yeah, I did. Because this relationship is important to me too Kara: you are important to me. What am I saying? You are the most and only important thing in my life and I will do anything to protect that, even talk to some shrink." He looked at her pleadingly, tears standing out on his long lashes. She felt the burn of tears in her own eyes.

"Gods, Lee it feels like we've failed, talking about seeing a councillor after only a year of marriage. I mean if we love each other as we say we do we should be able to sort this out ourselves right? The last thing I wanna do is air our dirty linen in front of some civvy do-gooder, but I'll do it because I do love you very much and I can't lose you."

"That's decided then?" She nodded quickly then bowed her head, crying quietly. Lee briefly stroked her hair then sniffed and dashed a hand across his cheeks to wipe off the tell-tale wetness. He stood up abruptly needing to re-group his thoughts.

"I'll get us another drink. What do you want?"

She asked for the most complicated, expensive cocktail she could think of, wanting to have as long a break as possible. His eyebrow raised but he headed off to the bar without further comment. She too wiped her cheeks and got her emotions back under control. Within a few minutes her eyes sought out Lee involuntarily as he stood at the bar. He was glancing across the room at some woman, but then he looked across at Kara and caught her eye. An almost imperceptible flick of his head brought her over to the bar. He leaned in and kissed her passionately.

"Let's get out of here," he said, a little too loudly. He gave Kara her drink and dragged her into the bathroom.

"What are you doing Lee? We have a room if you're feeling horny: we don't need to frak in the head."

"Shhh. Did you see the woman hanging around in the corner? I think she had a gun. I think something's going on."

"I did notice a guy at the bar earlier with a decidedly strange bulge in his jacket which could well have been gun shaped."

They were interrupted by the sound of gunfire and screaming from the lounge. Lee carefully looked though the crack in the door to see everyone being lined up against the bar.

"Three men, one woman: all armed. They've sealed the pressure doors."

"Frak!" Kara exclaimed as she pulled up her pant leg and extracted a concealed gun from around her ankle. Lee looked at her in horror.

"Geez, Kara, I hope you didn't bring that you use on me?"

"Nope, not if you behaved yourself, but it could prove useful now." They moved seamlessly into military mode, as if the last hour of intense discussion about their relationship had not just occurred. When their backs were against the wall they were a perfect team and Kara felt a momentary pang about their decision that they must work apart in the future. "You have a plan?" she asked.

"Not sure what these people want but they are bound to make some sort of demand to either the admiral or the president, but irrespective of that as soon as they know there's a hostage situation Galactica will send a team. However they won't be able to do anything if the pressure doors are locked down. We have to get them to open those doors." Lee thought for a moment then looked at Kara's drink. "Seems like that crap you're drinking might be good for us after all."

"Huh?"

"Dry ice. I'm gonna see if I can set off the 02 alarms."

They moved into the rear service area and searched for the oxygen sensor. Once they had placed the drink under the right one Lee lead the way back towards the main bathroom but halted as one of the terrorists came in to search the washroom. Motioning for silence he pushed Kara further back into the service area. "Stay in here for frak's sake. I need a back up surprise element," he whispered.

The guy was checking each of the cubicles. As he came to the last one Lee jumped out and grabbed him from behind and easily disarmed him. Lee pushed him back into the bar, leaving the door ajar behind him. Kara stealthily approached the gap and listened in to what was going on in the bar as Lee said that he just wanted to talk with the terrorists.

"Talk! Frak, Lee couldn't you come up with something more imaginative?"

One of the terrorists mentioned having seen the pair of them together. Lee told them that she had gone back to their room, but she was bound to come looking for him if he did not show up soon and that she would not hesitate to bring along troops from Galactica if she thought he was in danger. This did not seem to faze them, but at that moment the oxygen alarm went off, interrupting the discussion. Under the cover of everyone looking for the alarm, Kara slipped out of the bathroom and hid behind the bar, motioning to the bar tenders to keep her cover. She kept crouched in her corner whilst the woman terrorist, Sesha Abinell, who seemed to be the leader, called Galactica and asked for repairs. Eventually a burly guy in a tech's uniform and cap appeared through the pressure hatch. Kara caught enough of a view of him to know that it was one of Galactica's marines: so the old man had already sent in the cavalry, she thought. It was time for action.

While everyone's attention was on the tech, Kara started to move towards the terrorist nearest the bar. She had almost reached him without being noticed when Ellen Tigh caught sight of her and gave a sharp intake of breath. Alerted, the guy turned and immediately brought his gun up, but too late as Kara got in a clean shot, hitting him right in the forehead. The other terrorists turned towards her, but at that moment the pseudo-tech dug a concealed gun out of his toolkit and opened fire and then all hell broke loose. Two of the remaining terrorists concentrated on the marine and his buddies as they stormed through the opened doors, but the woman turned towards Kara and raised her gun. Kara, a much better and well trained shot, got off a round before her opponent, but it did not hit the target she intended. Lee, the stupid, noble idiot, had seen what was happening and had thrown himself between her and the shooter. She watched as if in slow motion as her bullet embedded in his chest and he recoiled backwards, then a circle of crimson spread across his shirt just above his heart. As he fell to the floor she vaulted over the bar and ran to his side, oblivious to the continued battle around her.

"Lee, Lee," she screamed. "Oh Gods, Oh Gods, Lee!" Her fingers worked quickly to explore the wound and assess what she was dealing with, training kicking in. "Come on Lee, hold on, talk to me." His eyes flickered open as the sounds of gunfire ceased.

"Man that hurts," he managed to whisper through gritted teeth. "I thought you said you weren't gonna use that gun on me!"

"Shit! Frak! I can't believe that I shot you. What were you thinking you frakwit?" His eyes fluttered shut. "No, no, you are not gonna die on me you son of a bitch." She turned towards the people at the bar. "Get me towels, bandages, anything," she screamed at the stunned audience. Dee was the first to react. She bought over all the bar towels she could find and Kara rammed them against the bleeding hole in Lee's chest with more worry than finesse and applied as much pressure as she could.

"Is he dead?" asked Sesha Abinell's detached voice.

"Not yet and you had better hope that he stays that way because if he dies there won't be enough body parts left to identify any of you," she growled out. "And that's nothing compared to what the admiral will do to you if his son dies."

"I wasn't the one who shot him: you were." Kara flushed but ignored the accusation.

"Get the old man on the comm now," she demanded.

Sesha moved to the comm unit and Kara could hear her telling the old man that his son was wounded and repeating her demands for the Cylon prisoner to be handed over. Time seemed to drag on as they waited for a response from Galactica. Kara continued to press the towels, shirts, anything that Dee handed her to Lee's wound, the regularity with which she had to change them as they became soaked through with blood worrying her immensely.

"I can't stop the bleeding," she mumbled. "Stay with me Lee, please hold on," she begged to her unconscious husband, but with his lack of response she started to cry. Dee swallowed convulsively: she'd never seen Starbuck cry before so she put an arm around her shoulders awkwardly, hoping not to get her eye blackened, but Kara showed no signs of noticing: she was totally focussed on her husband.

--

Time passed agonisingly slowly. Kara ignored what was going on around her, her world narrowed to Lee and the increasingly faint and erratic pulse in his neck. She vaguely registered shouting and some gunfire around her, but she kept her head bowed protectively over Lee until a calloused hand pulled at her shoulder and a familiar gruff voice startled her back to awareness.

"Come on Kara; let the medics do their job." She allowed herself to be pulled off her husband and then she collapsed into her father in law's arms.

"It was me: I shot him. Oh Gods I've killed him." Adama hugged her tightly.

"He'll be fine. Let's get you both back home to Galactica and cleaned up," he said reassuringly.

Once Lee was loaded onto a stretcher they followed the paramedics with the gurney. Kara broke away from the Admiral's protective grasp and grabbed Lee's hand and would not be parted from him until Cottle forcibly pushed her away as his surgical team got to work.

--

Kara jolted awake in the dim light of sickbay as she felt Lee's fingers touch hers. She looked up at his face. He was barely conscious but he was awake. She finally started to believe what Cottle had told her: Lee was going to be alright.

"It was a hell of a vacation!" he mumbled groggily.

"Yeah, we must do it again sometime," She gave him a watery smile through her sudden tears. "Gods I'm sorry Lee," she managed to get out before she broke down completely.

"You mustn't blame yourself," he said in reply and made an effort to squeeze her hand.

"I'll let you be my conscience on that point." She pulled his hand up to her lips and kissed it.

"You have to rest now. We'll talk more when you're feeling better."

"Yeah…..What a pair of screw ups." She couldn't help a smile creeping out at his faintly muttered words.

"Love you," was his final whisper before succumbing to sleep.

"I love you too Lee Adama." She leaned over and kissed his lips and then his forehead before resuming her vigil at his side.

TBC


End file.
